Places to go on a first date

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Places to go on a first date
9
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 7:44am

*My native language is spanish, so Ill try to make my best here.

Ok, this is the story:
I saw a girl on a club and asked for her mail (hotmail/messenger), we´ve been chating for about 3 weeks and we like each other, the thing is that we never went out and we both know that the first time would be kinda strange. Here in my country 1st dates consist usually on going to a bar to drink something and talk, but I know that this is not the best choice because both of us are very shy and it would make us force a conversation in order to fill the silence.

What places to you suggest on trying? Ive thought an art exposition, because you can walk around without having to speak to each other all the time. Which are your suggestions??

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 8:49pm
The art expo is a good idea because you can start out chatting about the event and the objects on display and then it can gradually lead to more personal things about yourselves. You can also take in a movie and while you are sitting there silent for a couple of hours you can also chat about the movie afterwards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 9:59pm

First of all thanks for the fast answer.

About the tip:
Since weve been chating a lot, and we only need to get used to speaking to each other in person I think the movie is not an option she ll like, although it gives you something to talk about. But I think that Ill tell her that I would pick her up in my car, and when she gets in I just start joking about her shyness, that way I take some pressure of and then offer her to go for a walk in a park or whatever.

What do you think??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 10:42pm

Since you have been chatting for 3 weeks I would assume that you would know some of her likes and dislikes. I wouldn't joke about her shyness because it only emphasizes it. I wouldn't say anything at all about it and forget that you knew that about her. If you think that she'll like a walk in the park, then you do what you are comfortable doing. If it were me, I would prefer a quiet place to sit and talk.

Just dont do what other guys are doing these days - testing a women's golddigger potential. You see, guys are making sure that on their first few dates they don't drop alot of money on women to see if these women like them for who they are. Now, I can understand how a guy could feel raked over the coals by women because most women date because they want to get out of the house and feel like someone is treating them special. But, a woman like me is going to see through that ruse and it will annoy me that I am being blatantly tested. I know that a man who I have never met before wouldn't know that I am a good person and would not use a guy that way, but it still bugs me.

The drawback to this new dating method by men is that when women see a guy trying to "cheap out" it means that they don't want to invest in someone who they already know is just a "lay". There are two stereotypes in conflict here and unless both parties drop it, the two stereotypes will butt heads. Let's face it, she can take a walk alone. But to enjoy an exposition and discuss the artists is much more fun.

You could always do what I do when being set up with a blind date, and that is to just go out for lunch. It is less expensive and less intense and people are generally in a good mood.

In my situation, I would have to go with something more low key and private in getting to know someone because, right now, I am a crime victim and I am being stalked and harassed. So the only way I am going to get privacy talking to a guy is if I am in my house or his house. Which is not the best scenario, but it would have to do. One day I hope to not need to have to handle things this way.

Good luck and have fun!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:32am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 1:23am

well well,
I went out today. I picked her up with the car and we went to a park near her place. We walked for almost 1 1/2 hours and then we went to a bar. We talked all the time. Then I took her back to her place.
As I really like this girl I guessed it would be better to leave the first kiss for the second date.
20 minutes later I arrived to my place I went online and there she was. So I asked her if she wanted to go out again. She agreed, so we are going for the 2nd date on wednesday.

Now I have to find out were to go on wednesday and how can I get the first kiss. LOL

Thanks a lot to every one of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:29am

Since when did kissing on the first date mean that you don't like the girl? When did this happen? I am a little confused by your dating methods.

How do you get the first kiss? You lean over and kiss her. No biggie.

I dont think I can give you advice on where to take her since your dating style is very foreign to me. But, if you like the outdoors, then what about a picnic?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:57am

HA.

What I meant with the first kiss is that most guys rush for the kiss as if they had to take something from the date. If the kiss comes naturally its perfect, but if not I like to wait for the second date, for 2 reasons: the 1st I just explained (the rush), the 2nd one is because if the girl doesnt want to go out again she wont like to be kissed. If she goes out again then she knows that that would happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 9:26am
Maybe thinking about where to take her is fine, but going into what you're going to say, etc is too much thought already. Just relax and go with the flow. :) It sounds like you're doing great!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:34pm
Again, always nice to do an activity that you are both involved in - it's a natural conversation starter
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