Playing with fire?
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Playing with fire?
| Sun, 04-11-2004 - 5:01am |
I am 36 and have been divorced for several years, I have two kids 8 and 10 years old. Last summer a young man moved into the house next to us, he is 21. He started off as a friendly new neighbor, then helped me with a couple of child care emergencies. He turned into a good friend and a regular face in our house, my kids adore him. He is also a police officer and just one of the most kind harted men I have ever met. At Christmas he asked me to go to his company party with him as he didn't have a date and our relationship started to become romantic. He is so young and good looking I just didn't think he could be intimately interested in me, I was very reluctant but a couple of months ago, I gave in. I do not recall being so happy in all my life, this guy is a dream come true. The problem is that I work at a high school and recently my supervisor pulled me aside and asked if I was dating a former student, I was shocked! Now I have learned that many people think I am dating a former student, when in fact he didn't even go to school in this state! Now I am questioning my own judgment for dating a guy so young and I have a fear of being seen in public with my boyfriend. I think now that my boyfriend is starting to think I don't want to be with him. So am I an idiot? Can a relationship work with this age differnce? What do I do???????
Ann
Ann

Regardless of where he went to school, that is hardly the point. There may be a perception that you have a proclivity for younger men. In some peoples' minds there may be (valid) concern that your proclivity may (or may at some point) extend down to high school age boys. As a High School teacher, that is a very bad perception for people in your community to posess, regardless of its accuracy.
He is a very young man. He has his whole life ahead of him. He deserves to be with someone who isn't constantly looking over her shoulder, doesn't he; someone who can give all of herself to him without reservation? You deserve to have peace in your life, and would prefer I am sure, not to spend time worring about your job and standing in the community, right? Well, I have found most rights carry a responsibility with them. Don't you agree?
Also, if you are looking over your shoulder, you should ask yourself: "Why?" Not "why" in reference to others, but in reference to yourself. There are probably some good answers there. For instance: If there is nothing out of place, why do you care what others think? If there is something out of place, perhaps now would be a good time to remedy that situation.
Good luck,
dh