playing games
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playing games
| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 4:49am |
Ok, personally, I think playing games is childish and totally immature. I'm a really direct person. I just tell it like it is and act like it is. If I love you, that's how I'll act. If I'm pissed, you will know it. I think being direct is the best way to go because it will lessen misinterpretations and lessen DRAMA! Of which I am *not* a fan of, whatsoever!
My mom says that I shouldn't be so open to my boyfriend and that I should play hard-to-get sometimes. That I will come off as too easy, like I give in too much. I was like, how is that when I turned off my phone when he was acting like an ass? She was like, yah, but then you answered the phone the very next day. I think if I had ignored him for over a day, then *I'd* be the one acting like an ass! And when I turn off my phone, it's not me playing a game, it is me being pissed and not feeling like talking to him or anyone else, really.
Basically, I don't believe in games... in waiting x-amount of days before calling, etc. Why wait? If you like someone, call them the next day! Or later that day even! To me, it shows me that you are so interested in me, you can't stop thinking about me, etc.
What about you? Do you believe "games" or waiting to call or following x-protocol is necessary in certain situations?
xoxo,
~Halle~
My mom says that I shouldn't be so open to my boyfriend and that I should play hard-to-get sometimes. That I will come off as too easy, like I give in too much. I was like, how is that when I turned off my phone when he was acting like an ass? She was like, yah, but then you answered the phone the very next day. I think if I had ignored him for over a day, then *I'd* be the one acting like an ass! And when I turn off my phone, it's not me playing a game, it is me being pissed and not feeling like talking to him or anyone else, really.
Basically, I don't believe in games... in waiting x-amount of days before calling, etc. Why wait? If you like someone, call them the next day! Or later that day even! To me, it shows me that you are so interested in me, you can't stop thinking about me, etc.
What about you? Do you believe "games" or waiting to call or following x-protocol is necessary in certain situations?
xoxo,
~Halle~

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Oh, I'm very aware that I'm not his priority and he is not mine - it's not like that at all. He's definitely not my focus, I must have come across wrong in my post. What bothers me about the situation is that it's almost like 2 different people/personalities. The change is so drastic from day to day.
As for text messaging, I know people who like it and I know people who hate it, it depends on the person. For both he and I, it just happens to be beneficial as it allows us to keep in touch at times when it's not convenient or appropriate to be talking on the phone, such as while we are working or out with friends. I know it's not in-depth conversations but it's nice for "how's your day going?" and also for making plans.
I agree with tonitoons' assertations that both men and women play games. I do not feel that my post paints a malicious color upon human beings. I just call it like I see it. I have watched women cry for days because of games. I have experienced the rollercoaster that men try to heave upon us too, to keep us off balance and it's no fun. It is done intentionally, but the question is...what really is the intent? Is it selfishness to make women miss them or want them? Or...are they addicted to drama so they look for women who are also addicted to drama? Or is it because they find it good sport? We all know that the 3 day call wait rule is designed to make sure men don't look like worshipping fools, which calling sooner does NOT. That is intentional and it can hurt or dampen the start of a great relationship.
And I have dumped men because of those reasons. This is one time: The day after a nice dinner I left a message on his machine and thanked him and said I had a nice time. I didn't hear from him that week at all. So I left a message on his machine that said that I was concerned that he did not return my call so I asked him to call to let me know he was okay. He called back finally and said, "I wasn't going to let it go on too much longer." Confused, I replied, "let WHAT go on too much longer?" He said, "calling you back." As you can imagine the rest of the conversation took a downward spiral and we did not date any longer.
This was another one: My second ex husband and I used to see each other about twice a week. He wanted to add another day. Things were going well, so I said "okay." Well, the day before we were supposed to get together (the new added day) he said that he was unhappy with the arrangement because he missed his friends. I said "okay, we are back to two days per week." The day he was to get together with one of his friends he gets a call from the guy saying he had to cancel. So, my second ex-loser calls me and says that he wanted to come over because his buddy cancelled. I said "absolutely not." I told him that I can't be yanked up and down like a yoyo - I said he complained about seeing me too much and I was fine with going back to 2 days, that so that's it. I am not to be used because he is bored.
Of course there are more stories but the gist of it is that men do it, women do it to men too, but it seems that women get hit harder by the games than men do. Not sure why. But I agree with you...it is cruel to jerk someone's emotions around. Some men do it because we all have to pay for some stupid high school twit who rejected the s.o.b. back 25 years ago. Subconsciously they say stupid things to hurt your feelings (but act like they have foot-in-mouth disease), are not consistent with their emotions or affections for you, they try anything to make you feel pain because they don't really "like" women and because they still feel pain from their personal rejections.
"What bothers me about the situation is that it's almost like 2 different people/personalities. The change is so drastic from day to day" -- ahhh, so he is playing the old Jekyll and Hyde routine with you? That sucks and is not going to go away. So you have to decide if you can allow your heart to swing back and forth with no momentum going forward in closeness and maturation of the relationship.
What I think is funny is that men complain that the sex dies after marriage. Weellllll you studs want to know why? Because you get fat and lazy, stop grooming yourselves and stop romancing and seducing us...what woman would want you in bed with her? It is just like how they give initially at the beginning of a relationship with calls, notes, etc and then - like morons, they expect the relationship to go on "autopilot" - sooo not true. Relationships require upkeep and if the guy can do the upkeep he has no business being in a relationship.
"Subconsciously they say stupid things to hurt your feelings (but act like they have foot-in-mouth disease), are not consistent with their emotions or affections for you, they try anything to make you feel pain because they don't really "like" women and because they still feel pain from their personal rejections".
This is the $$$MONEY$$ paragraph right here!! (lol). Snafs, I lovz ya!
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