playing games

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
playing games
47
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 4:49am
Ok, personally, I think playing games is childish and totally immature. I'm a really direct person. I just tell it like it is and act like it is. If I love you, that's how I'll act. If I'm pissed, you will know it. I think being direct is the best way to go because it will lessen misinterpretations and lessen DRAMA! Of which I am *not* a fan of, whatsoever!
My mom says that I shouldn't be so open to my boyfriend and that I should play hard-to-get sometimes. That I will come off as too easy, like I give in too much. I was like, how is that when I turned off my phone when he was acting like an ass? She was like, yah, but then you answered the phone the very next day. I think if I had ignored him for over a day, then *I'd* be the one acting like an ass! And when I turn off my phone, it's not me playing a game, it is me being pissed and not feeling like talking to him or anyone else, really.
Basically, I don't believe in games... in waiting x-amount of days before calling, etc. Why wait? If you like someone, call them the next day! Or later that day even! To me, it shows me that you are so interested in me, you can't stop thinking about me, etc.
What about you? Do you believe "games" or waiting to call or following x-protocol is necessary in certain situations?
xoxo,
~Halle~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: halle2007
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 9:33pm
I know, right! Best foot forward! So much for that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:38am

Hi Snafu and Halle,

Yes, it is hard being with a man who is so loving one day and the next they just push you away! I am in a situation right now where I am paying for his exwife's (25yrs) breaking him. I mean, going into the "cave" once in a while is one thing, but to be rude?

We've been together seven months, one one month break in between and thought this time around (two months now) we had it all worked out. He's never been rude to me before. Not sure what's up with him this time!

Dr Jeckyll, Mr. Hyde complex. He's gone awol for almost five days now. Think I'm all set with this myself. And we're in our 40's!!! I am always straight up an honest. I don't believe in games.

Good luck!

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 10:40am
Holy crap, awol for 5 days? I would be mad as hell.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 12:05pm

Yes, I am. Like I said, space is one thing but this has become outter space and very unlike him. Didn't take him for a game player, I know he's busy, but somethings gotta give here.

I sent a brief email on Tuesday, that's all the reaction from this he's getting from me. The more I read on here the more strength I get, thank you. (at least for the moment. You know that rollercoaster!)

I don't think I should give the satisfaction of any further contact. Agree?

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 12:55pm

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OMG, totally agree. Yah, my boyfriend just called me just now and we talked about the issues for a bit. He said he understood that I'm stressed out about stuff. I think he feels pressure or something - which wasn't my intention at all! So guys read into stuff just like girls do! Anywayz, whatever to him. I have alot of thinking to do on my own and see if I want to stay in this or not. Sounds like you need to do the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 1:04pm

I'm glad for you that he called. No matter what happens from here, at least the communication is starting, no matter what direction it goes in. It beats the unknown.

Now, if I could get the same outcome from my guy!

Good luck and stay true to yourself!

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 1:55pm
The thing is, is I think he's taking me forgranted and thinks he's got me wrapped around his little finger - hahaha. Whatever. I was supposed to go back to our home city where we both live (I'm visiting my family right now) next week, but I think I'll stay here an extra week. He doesn't seem to care anyway, so why not? We might be apart in the Fall and when we were talking when he called me, I was telling him different options for us to see each other and he was like, yah, but I don't want to talk about that yet since we'll be busy with school. I was like um, yah I know that! I was just giving suggestions! Basically he is blowing me off anywayz. So I'm done with it. I don't need that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 2:06pm

Hi Halle,
Good for you for sticking to your guns. You mention school so I guess you're young enough to keep going on and striving for what you want. Not that we older gals don't have goals!

I just got a very brief email from him (he passed my parked truck on his way home to lunch) Just said he was "at home for a quick lunch, been working late nights for the past two nights. At some point soon I need to talk with you"

That was it. Not to read into it, but doesn't really offer any hope. Almost sounds like I'm being scolded about his actions. OK, yes, I am at the overanalyzing phase of this silence. Yes, he may have just rushed something down while home at lunch, but I'm not getting a good vibe.

I'll keep you posted on this current game, you do the same.

Hang in there.

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 5:52pm
I dont' think you are overanalyzing anything. You didn't mention it in your post, but Ididn't see any "miss you" or "love you" from this guy. He may want to have another "break" again. How many breaks is a new relationship supposed to have? None. Good luck and let us know what he says.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
In reply to: halle2007
Thu, 06-14-2007 - 7:53pm

Thanks. Nope, not a single word of concern from him. That was the entire email! You all here at Ivillage are right about one thing. He is not ready, even at 48yo, for a mature relationship. Too much baggage from his divorce (5 half years ago) and this break will be the last if that's what he has planned for this talk. And if he has other plans, they better fit into what I deem acceptable from this point on. Alas. I love him but think the "break" is in the cards.

Now, he just said "soon". How soon doesn't matter to me anymore. Thanks for the uplift and I'll let you know how it goes.

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~