playing games
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playing games
| Wed, 06-13-2007 - 4:49am |
Ok, personally, I think playing games is childish and totally immature. I'm a really direct person. I just tell it like it is and act like it is. If I love you, that's how I'll act. If I'm pissed, you will know it. I think being direct is the best way to go because it will lessen misinterpretations and lessen DRAMA! Of which I am *not* a fan of, whatsoever!
My mom says that I shouldn't be so open to my boyfriend and that I should play hard-to-get sometimes. That I will come off as too easy, like I give in too much. I was like, how is that when I turned off my phone when he was acting like an ass? She was like, yah, but then you answered the phone the very next day. I think if I had ignored him for over a day, then *I'd* be the one acting like an ass! And when I turn off my phone, it's not me playing a game, it is me being pissed and not feeling like talking to him or anyone else, really.
Basically, I don't believe in games... in waiting x-amount of days before calling, etc. Why wait? If you like someone, call them the next day! Or later that day even! To me, it shows me that you are so interested in me, you can't stop thinking about me, etc.
What about you? Do you believe "games" or waiting to call or following x-protocol is necessary in certain situations?
xoxo,
~Halle~
My mom says that I shouldn't be so open to my boyfriend and that I should play hard-to-get sometimes. That I will come off as too easy, like I give in too much. I was like, how is that when I turned off my phone when he was acting like an ass? She was like, yah, but then you answered the phone the very next day. I think if I had ignored him for over a day, then *I'd* be the one acting like an ass! And when I turn off my phone, it's not me playing a game, it is me being pissed and not feeling like talking to him or anyone else, really.
Basically, I don't believe in games... in waiting x-amount of days before calling, etc. Why wait? If you like someone, call them the next day! Or later that day even! To me, it shows me that you are so interested in me, you can't stop thinking about me, etc.
What about you? Do you believe "games" or waiting to call or following x-protocol is necessary in certain situations?
xoxo,
~Halle~

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It sounds like he is going through some ups and downs. But he should still be able to be responsible for the messes he makes.
I'm with you as far as monogamy goes - even if the relationship is not one where we see each other every day.
I give you credit for wanting to stick with him. I hope he appreciates it and maybe will go to counseling.
"My guy now cheerfully emailed me the day after our first date to say he had fun and wanted us to go the beach that weekend. No big friggin' deal. Then called Saturday morning to make plans. That's what it looks like, ladies!" --- you got yourself a winner!!!
"Wow! He seriously said "I wasn't going to let it go on too much longer"?! Thank God you didn't see him again!" --- I did see him again, as we used to travel somewhat in the same circles and frequent the same bars. I like things to end nicely - meaning no hard feelings should we run into each other in public either with friends or SO's. He still called after that conversation - brave...I know. I didnt know his schedule was packed because of alot of responsibilities involving his work and career. All he had to do was say so...right? No...he doesn't do that. So when he called again he said to me that he just doesn't have time. I said that I had good news for him then..that I didn't want any of his time. That got the message across. However, he did apologize to me, but he didn't know what he was apologizing for...a teensy weensy problem. But, I have bear no ill will towards him.
I had a guy give me the kiss and freak out too. He worked at another company, but we copromoted the same product. We didn't really interface much during working hours. He was the strangest person - he got all freaked out because of the kiss and having to give my dayrunner back to me that was in his car from a day we worked together. WTF? He blew off a work related event that we both agreed to attend for a concert. I told him to go and I would handle it because tickets were hard to come by for this concert. I was going to this concert too, but on another night. The guy didn't tell me he already had tickets for antoher night!!! The one I told him to go to was an additional show for him...and I got stuck with the bill and having to take care of this by myself. This is what I get for being nice. He then calls asking to "make it up to me" by taking me out to dinner - hehehe - I told him that I didn't want his dinner - I told him that I wanted his money for the event he didn't attend. I also mentioned that he had bad character and I wouldn't date him.
People don't seem to take their comings and goings in someone's life into consideration. What did he think you were going to think after that kiss? What...was it a fluke? Just some strange physical reaction...like belching? You are right, either he was a jerk, or jerking you around or really screwed up in the head...and has no business dating ANYONE.
Well, I told you about the stork thing... I'm going through alot right now with that but waiting till I'm totally sure before I tell my boyfriend. It doesn't help that we're apart right now (different cities) and he is no where to be found lately. He is a busy guy, but I've not heard from him in a couple of days now.... I said to myself that I WOULD NOT INITIATE CONTACT and I haven't. I'm doing good so far, but it's hard because I miss him so much. I want to give him spac after my freak out the other night and I called him 2 million times in an hour. I've probably scared him off and he is done with me... :(
For alot of guys it is a lack of concern or caring, I agree. But some have turned this into a "sport" of honing their skills in mental manipulation. And then there is the basic answer which is that when men want out of a relationship sometimes they just do stupid things and then the woman is thinking about a million different reasons as to why his behavior changed from whether he is scared of commitment to some sort of psychological problem to just moody to he's having an affair...whatever...it really doesn't matter why the guy wants out...he just wants out...that's all. To ruminate over it really makes no difference because it is rare to find someone who will be honest and tell you the real reason - "I want a new person" or "I want new sex with a new person" or..."I really only dated you so I could get some regular sex for a while...you know...to tide me over." - that's the REAL info. If they were honest with us...they'd never have sex again. Why? Because we'd make sure every woman in America heard it like we heard it.
So the work guy needed his ego stroked a little and decided to use you for that task? When guys are angry at women...we all pay. My experiences with men who are angry at women (for whatever reason) can seem really nice and special when you meet them and then slowly this free floating anger starts barreling at you ...and you have no idea why. Not only that...they make sure you HURT. They do this in a variety of ways: they make sure you hear them admiring women too much, they start putting you down in any like your intelligence or your abilities, they make sure that you catch them ogling at women too much, they make sure you understand that they dictate the course of the relationship over and above what men normally seem to do, they make sure you don't get too many compliments after a while, they make sure your gestures of kindness and love go unnoticed, they make sure they appear to be a "letch", they make a fuss if you pay too much attention to another man, but will practically jump into another woman's pants in front of you. They do all of this because they hurt inside and they never dealt with it in a mature way so the baggage just keeps getting heaped on top of itself. Not only that..they keep attracting and asking out the very same women who they hate and who rejected them or used them and the cycle never ends...until they meet someone who they really like, but can't seem to treat her any different than any of the other women he's dated. Then he loses someone good and maybe he starts to wake up - by then he's 60.
Angry men may make for affairs or flings, but that's about it. And even then...eh.
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