Please Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2005
Please Help!!!
4
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 8:58pm

Here goes... I started dating my co-worker/friend after a year of close friendship. And in an instant I was in love... head over heels. After a couple of months he moved away and we continued in a long distance relationship. Which was working we saw each other every few months, talked on the phone all day every day, email, etc.

The problem is I was so deeply in love with him that I didn't realize how much he cared for me. He is not the type to say I love you. After we had been together about 20 months I reached my breaking point. My brother was killed in a car accident and my mother was dying from cancer and I felt like he didn't care about me. Honestly, looking back now I can see that I was looking so hard for his love that I couldn't see it right in front of my face. Hopefully, that makes sense to someone other than me!

I ended the relationship and for 5 months I didn't think about him because I was taking care of my mother and later planning her funeral. But once I went back to work and tried to pick up my shattered life, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I missed him and I was still in love with him. Well that was May... fast forward to now. I want so badly for us to get back together but we have only talked once since we broke up in Nov. I have sent text messages and emails and even called but I didn't leave a message.

What do I do? Do I give up and forget about the only man I have ever been in love with? Has it been to long? I sent him an email explaining that I see that everything was not his fault and I was oversensitive to everything he did/didn't not say. Not to mention I lost two of the most important people in my life and I was stressed and very emotional. My friends keep telling me to call him at work and talk to him. Should I got that route since he's not returning my phone calls? I know that he at least reads my emails because they have a read receipt on them. Advise is needed.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rone0525
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 9:48pm

Wow, you've been through a lot, my condolences on your losses.

I'm not clear on whether you've actually said in your emails that you would like another chance. If you did, then I'm not sure what good calling would do. I think I would maybe send one last email (or even better, write a letter) and make it clear that you would like to try again but you will leave it up to him to contact you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: rone0525
Wed, 08-24-2005 - 10:18pm

First off, sorry for your losses.

As for the guy, you've contacted him, you've told him your story and now it's in his hands. Since he hasn't contacted you, then maybe you should take that as a sign that he's not interested in rekindling anything with you. It's been months, you ended things with him, and he's probably moved on with his life and possibly is dating someone new. If you've left him your phone number and asked him to call, then that's about all you can do. Don't push the situation, if he's going to contact you, let it be on his terms.

If you don't hear from him then move on.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: rone0525
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 8:31am

Hindsight being 20/20, email was not the way to go on this. Face to face would have been ideal, the phone would have been another option.

I'd still get on the phone so the two of you can have a conversation but I'd be realistic. He's not answering your email so he may be apprehensive. Between the situation with your brother and your mother's illness, I am sure it cause this man some stress, not that you could control it. Better be prepared to lay on the apologies thick.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2005
In reply to: rone0525
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 11:10pm
Talk to him. send him messages until he replys. do what it takes. I contacted my ex who i cheated on over two years ago and he still wanted to talk to me. If this guy really does care and love you, he will reply, trust me. Just do it, call him, do whatever it takes or you'll regret it the rest of your life. whats the worst that will happen? He'll tell you he doesn't love you anymore, ect. at least you'll have closer.