Please help! Going insaine.
Find a Conversation
Please help! Going insaine.
| Tue, 07-06-2004 - 4:19am |
So, in a nutshell I was with this guy for about almost two years now. He's broken up with me about three times I know this sounds ridiculous but, he's grown up with a messed up family and I didn't want to be the one more person that walked out of his life. He's a great guy and I truely love him so much! He would break up with me about every six months saying that a relationship is not what he needed in his life and that he didn't want to be responsible for hurting me. The last time that I took him back I said that this was it and that I would give him one more chance and that he needed to seek help for himself to deal with things he had been through. He never went of course but told me he would and would do anything for us to be together again.
Well this time something else has happend in his family and has come up with the conclusion that he is unhappy because of our relationship. This coming from a guy who a week ago was talking to me about how happy he was that I was in his life and wouldn't know what to do without me, and talking about getting married having kids ect.....
I told him that I couldn't believe him and that I felt sorry for him, that he keeps doing this ect....
This is so unreal to me and I can't help but feeling so hurt and betrayed. How can somebody that claims they love you so much keep doing this? I mean what? Is he going to come back and think that we are going to do this again for the 4th or 5th time. This is all too much and I just don't know how to move on. I feel like I failed at trying to help him, or wondering what it is that isn't good enough about me that he has to leave all the time because he loves me so much. I don't know? please help?
Well this time something else has happend in his family and has come up with the conclusion that he is unhappy because of our relationship. This coming from a guy who a week ago was talking to me about how happy he was that I was in his life and wouldn't know what to do without me, and talking about getting married having kids ect.....
I told him that I couldn't believe him and that I felt sorry for him, that he keeps doing this ect....
This is so unreal to me and I can't help but feeling so hurt and betrayed. How can somebody that claims they love you so much keep doing this? I mean what? Is he going to come back and think that we are going to do this again for the 4th or 5th time. This is all too much and I just don't know how to move on. I feel like I failed at trying to help him, or wondering what it is that isn't good enough about me that he has to leave all the time because he loves me so much. I don't know? please help?

Don't justify his behaviour with his past. The past is the past and he has to learn to let it go. For him to bring into the r/ship, to expect more from you than he can give bc of it is UNFAIR.
As long as you are with an emotionally unhealthy man, you will be in an emotionally unhealthy r/ship.
I wish I could write something more positive, sorry.
I speak from experience having spent 5 years- yes 5! trying to help someone. You cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves. We even went to counselling and it did nothing. He told the councellor what she wanted to hear, promised me what I wanted to hear and did nothing to change. This man has a drinking and drug problem (drug problem I found out about after we had our son). 3 years after leaving him he still is the same, and now I have to deal with him because we do have a son together.
They tell you what you want to hear. That's it. You put up with thier behaviour because you believe that you owe it to them to be there. NOT SO!!! You can walk away and not feel guilty. You need to think about you and your needs. Find a guy who you can be equal with, not a parent to, not fix all the time. These kind of guys will never be happy because they are not happy with themselves. Let him be miserable and you move on with your life.
I have always believed that we meet each person for a reason. Figure out what you have learned about YOURSELF from this and keep that lesson with you.
Alison
I know this is very painful but you have nothing to gain by hanging in there or letting him come back.
Move on, everytime my heart was broken I would think this was the last man I would ever love and then two months later I was dating someone else.
The easiest way to get over someone is to get back on the horse.