Please help me - i am going crazy!
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Please help me - i am going crazy!
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 1:11am |
My bf and i have been having a great relationship for 4 months now, making plans for the future and generally we have been very happy. 2 weeks ago he found out that his family had some very serious problems, which he told me and asked me for some time alone cause he cant be with me and think about those problems. he said that he just needs time to deal with it, that he really cares about me and eventually we will be together again but he doesnt know how much time is gonna take him to be better. he just goes to work and home, nothing else and we text each other everyday, and talk on the phone maybe 3 times a week. now he is out of the country for business a week now and he hasnt contacted me but i know his job is like that - military. i miss him so much but i know i cant do anything cause i dont want to pressure him. he is coming back in a week and i dont know how to deal it. please help me, i dont want to lose him, i love him very much and i know he loves me too but i dont know how to help him!
Signatures On
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 2:26am |
It's only been four months. You are in love with him already? How young are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 33 and have been through a lot of stuff like this. I'll take a couple different views here. Are you absolutely certain that he's having family problems. If so, what kind of family problems. If the two of you were, or are, serious, I would think he would open up and at least tell you what's going on with his family. It seems like he's just kind of left you handing. Is he TDY? When did he need this "time"? Did it coincide with his having to leave? If you guys are young, then maybehe just didn't want to be tied down to a relationship and didn't know how to tell you, so he slowly moved out of the picture. I don't know enough about the relationship to make a judgement call. I would seriously just continue on with your life alone right now. Go out with friends, keep busy and try to keep your mind from focussing on him so much. I know it's hart, trust me, but you have to do it. Let me know how things turn out.
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 9:44am |
Thank u very much for ur reply. to answer ur questions, i am 25 and he is 28. his parents r getting a divorce, and his 2 nieces have been sexually harassed by a family member. and he is away for business now, he is a military guy. he hasnt contacted me for a week, but u know how these military things r. i know he loves me and trust me, i know how i feel about him and he knows how he feels about me. we talked about us many times and he said that he is very happy to be with me and he would love to spend the rest of his life with me. he is not afraid of that. but now after all these happened he started saying things like i am better off with someone who will give me the love and time i want and that i deserve better than him. he says he cares but he needs time to think things through. and he will visit his family next month. he is away from them now, cause of his job. i know he wants me in his life but he said that he wants me only as a friend for now until he sorts everything out and i told him i respect his decision cause i love him and i will always be here for him. he said that he cares abuot me alot too, but he just doesnt have any feelings for anyone now, just alot of anger inside of him and its not fair for me to see this anger everyday. please help me, i am so confused. i do go out with my friends and stuff but i miss him so much!
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 10:01am |
Cofegrl has a point....sometimes these relationships start off really strong and burn themselves out.
| Wed, 06-23-2004 - 1:34pm |
If I can be blunt................move on. As difficult as this may be. He pretty much broke up with you, but just not in those exact words. He sounds like a pretty good guy, just not right for you. You honestly don't know if he's ever going to come back to you. He really hasn't said anything that leads me to believe that he "just" needs time. For your own sanity, you need to let go of him. Go on with you life as if he's not coming back. Who knows down the road, but for now, you two are not together. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear. You want someone to tell you to hang in there and he'll come back. But, I dont' see that happening. He's messed up right now for a number of reasons. You can't have that in your life. Do you want to be dragged down by him? He needs to get through these things on his own and in his own time.
