PLEASE HELP!!! Need advice please
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PLEASE HELP!!! Need advice please
| Thu, 09-30-2004 - 9:58pm |
Hey Everyone!!!!
I need advice a.s.a.p. PLEASE!!! I wrote in a while ago about this younger guy (he's 19) I have been seeing.... Things were going okay until I made the bold move and decided to tell him I was going to go see him one weekend (we live 2 1/2 hours away from each other). Well, he started acting weird the night I went to visit him. At first I htough it was nerves or something, but I later decided I had no idea what it was. When I told him he was acting weird, he just said "I don't think I am. What am I doing?" So, I kind of let it go and we had a good weekend, although he was still kind of acting strange. I think I must have made him feel uncomfortable in some way... Maybe I was too forward by inviting myself over to his place, plus I know that I can come across as wanting a serious relationship with someone. I don't know if he got this vibe from me or not, but needless to say he kind of retratced a little (wasn't calling as much etc).
So, the last conversation I had with him was great - he as laughing at my jokes and I made sure there was no serious tone to the convo at all. Then, when I told him I had to go get ready b/c I was going out for a few drinks with friends, he said "Give me a call sometime," to which I replied "Uh, okay, give you a call sometime?" Then he said "Have a good night. Be safe." It was almost like he was feeling guilty for something.... So, I got off the phone and was totally confused b/c we were talking every day at least once for a month or more and now he's saying, "Call me sometime???"
I need advice a.s.a.p. PLEASE!!! I wrote in a while ago about this younger guy (he's 19) I have been seeing.... Things were going okay until I made the bold move and decided to tell him I was going to go see him one weekend (we live 2 1/2 hours away from each other). Well, he started acting weird the night I went to visit him. At first I htough it was nerves or something, but I later decided I had no idea what it was. When I told him he was acting weird, he just said "I don't think I am. What am I doing?" So, I kind of let it go and we had a good weekend, although he was still kind of acting strange. I think I must have made him feel uncomfortable in some way... Maybe I was too forward by inviting myself over to his place, plus I know that I can come across as wanting a serious relationship with someone. I don't know if he got this vibe from me or not, but needless to say he kind of retratced a little (wasn't calling as much etc).
So, the last conversation I had with him was great - he as laughing at my jokes and I made sure there was no serious tone to the convo at all. Then, when I told him I had to go get ready b/c I was going out for a few drinks with friends, he said "Give me a call sometime," to which I replied "Uh, okay, give you a call sometime?" Then he said "Have a good night. Be safe." It was almost like he was feeling guilty for something.... So, I got off the phone and was totally confused b/c we were talking every day at least once for a month or more and now he's saying, "Call me sometime???"
SO......what should I make of this comment??? Is this a brush-off? Is he trying to tell me that he wants to just be friends or that maybe he wants to just not talk as much? Guys, I would REALLY apreciate your input on this.

The interesting thing of it all is that initially he gave me his phone # and I actually called him first. And, he had asked me when I was going to come up to see him before, so it wasn't like I came up with the idea. Secondly, he sounded really excited that I was coming up to see him. So, I just don't know what to think.........
:(
Ahhh, dating is so frustrating and I just wish people would be straightforward and honest with each other. The thing of it all is that he was into me the second weekend he came down here and he told me he was coming to see me!!!! So, what happened to make him change his mind. Did I scare him off or did he decide he just doesn't like me that much? He acted like we had been dating for years that weekend in front of all of his friends. He was touch-feely, sweet and very attentive, so what makes someone do a 180 and totally change how they feel? Maybe I was just a fun time??? God I hope that is not the case.......
Anyway, as the old saying goes: "Another one bites the dust".........
I'm all for the straightforward and honesty thing. I'm a no bs kind of girl, and most of the guys I date eventually appreciate that. I think they try harder to figure us out than we try to figure them out and appreciate a woman who says what she means and means what she says. Of course, there are men who are terrified of that--I know, I've sent more than a few running for the hills ;-) But, I say again--if they're not enough man to handle me then good riddance.
And it's also true that at 19 this guy might just not be that savvy about "grown-up" dating. As in not college dating where you think you're roommate's brother/sister is kinda hot so you make out at parties. An exaggeration, but you know what I mean. I doubt you were just a fun time. He does sound spooked, but you can be pretty sure that's due to issues he's having either with maturity or something else all together. You didn't do anything wrong. His jerky behavior is the issue here, not what you may or may not have done to "cause" it. I'm glad you're letting this one go!
I am exactly like you when it comes to dating. Again, thank you so much for your advice... I really appreciate the positivity of your posts to me. They helped me realize that I deserve better than this and that if he does like me in the least then he can come to me and I am NOT going to give in and call him. I am doing what he told me to and I am going to be causal about it. Who needs someone who doesn't care anyway? Not me. I am a woman with a lot to give and eventually one guy will love me for being upfront and honest about my feelings and emotions. Funny you would say you've sent a few running, b/c believe me sweetheart, so have I!!! And, you know what? They would not have been able to handle me and it's better for both of us that they ran the other way!!!
Have a great night and thanks again. I look forward to getting to know you through the boards!!!
Sarah