Pls Advise...
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Pls Advise...
| Wed, 08-22-2007 - 2:49pm |
I started dating this guy about 3 weeks ago. The first week we went on 3 dates and everything was perfect. The following week we stayed in contact over the phone and set up 2 dates however he cancelled the last one because of work. Ever since that cancellation, I did not hear from him until 4 days later and it was only because he was returning my call. He let me know that work had been hectic and that his father had been in an accident. Then he tells me he is leaving out of the state for 3 days for work purposes. I know he is not lieing about what he is doing. However, Im concerned about why he does not really call much. My friends say most likely he is not interested anymore and is just being polite in returning my call. Should I just let it be and wait to see if he calls when he gets back or should I call him and see how his trip went?

hi,
from you post, i don't think he's not intersted. he been working and his dad was in an accident. so, yes he's been bz and rightfully so; its only been 3 wks and if you appear super needy early on, you'll run him off.
so, what you can do until his life comes down a little bit is to get more involved in your life. do you date, have gfs, attend school, hobbies? these are all things that will help pass the time along so you won't miss him so much. hopefully, once he has a chance to breathe you will once again be the center of his attention if you're still interested.
ravishing
Since you have been on a few dates with him already, I think you can come right out and ask him if "dating is not good for him right now." This way you can hear it directly from him and he could take this as an "out" if he wants to. He would probably ask "why would you say that?" and you could reply, "because I havent heard from you and I have wanted to call and see how you are doing, but I hesitate because I havent heard from you."
I would let it be and let him call you. That will give you a much better indication of his interest level than you calling him.
And in my experience, few guys will take an out even when it's offered to them. Somehow they think it's better to say "oh, no, I really want to see you, I'm just busy" if you ask, but then never follow up. I don't get it, but apparently they think that's nicer or something.
Sheri
Let's say your mom had an accident, you have a hectic work schedule, you also have to travel out of town for work, plus trying to keep up with day-to-day life responsibilities. Which one of these things would you neglect to go on a 5th date with a guy?
Unfortunately, sometimes crap happens in life that becomes very distracting and time slips quickly away. After 4 dates he hasn't yet made you a top priority in his life. If you want to label that as "not interested" then you always have the choice to decline his next invite.
Well I thought it out and decided to call him yesterday to c if he had made it back safe and to ask about his father. Even though he did not pick up my call, he did call me back within 10 minutes. The conversation was short yet friendly. No one discussed any future plans and we just left it at "talk to you later".
So I have come to the conclusion that I really should just leave things for what they are and give him his space to become available and if he wants to, to call me.