Points out ex's on first date
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Points out ex's on first date
| Sat, 09-24-2005 - 11:09am |
The last two guys I have been out with on the first date pointed out their ex's at the same party we were at. Both of them had two women in the room they had either dated or married. Is this a guy thing? While it's good they could remain friends with them, I didn't want to know about it and it made me feel creepy. I would just keep quiet about it, at least on the first date.
Have this ever happened to you all? Is it something I should just expect guys to do?
This was a date breaker with one of them. I didn't see him again because I felt like we would always be shadowed by his ex's in the same social circle.

Hmmm...I would much rather know from the get-go than have it come up later in the r'ship. It would seem like they were hiding something if they didn't mention it right away.
I don't have a problem with someone being friends with their ex, in general...there are some situations where it's clear they're not "just" friends or don't have appropriate boundaries in place, but in principle, it would be fine with me.
Sheri
Thanks, Sheri. I always appreciate your advice.
I am just wondering why in one of these instances the guy took me on the first date to a dance where he knew his ex-wife AND most recent ex-GF would be and pointed both of them out to me within the first fifteen minutes. I could maybe handle one, but two? And he had told me that he loved the ex-GF but they broke up because she didn't want to get married. It was all a bit much for me. I wonder if some of these guys do that just to seem macho or desirable.
Oh my gosh, I am going thru quite a similar thing and I'm having problems analyzing the guy. If u want to know more details, check out my post in Online Dating board.
This guy i know told me he was crazy over his ex, and their 1st date was beautiful! Great, i was on my 1st date with him too!! The impression i had was that he hasn't quite gotten over her, although they've broken up about 2 yrs already.
Your situation seems a bit too much for me as well. The ex-wife is fine, but would-be-ex-gf? He probably still loves her and would marry her if she agreed now.
However, I don't think guys do this to seem macho or desirable - his ex DIDN'T want to get married, so maybe she didn't love him enough(of course there could be other reasons as well). As for the guy i know, his ex left him too.
Maybe your guy is trying to tell u to be patient with him, and understand his situation. Not a bad thing, he's being honest.
Edited 9/25/2005 5:56 am ET ET by lindsayt05
I just ended a five-year relationship with someone who kept in constant contact with an EX, and I am pretty sensitive about triangles right now. My Ex always said there was nothing but friendship between him and the Ex, but the intensity of the friendship became more than I could bear.