Post online date #1

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Post online date #1
4
Wed, 12-25-2013 - 11:12am

I a guy online, we talked via/email and text for about a week and seemed to really click. We went on our first date Saturday, we had a few glasses of wine and some appetizers. The date lasted about 3 hours, he decided to call it a night after that, saying he didnt want to drink any more and drive. We each had 3 glasses of wine, and each had about a 30 min commute home. I felt like the date went great.The conversation was flowing, he seemed very interested and asked lots of questions. He paid the bill at the end of the night which was over eighty dollars. I offered to chip in and he insisted that I not pay. He walked me to my car and we hugged. He told me to text him when I got home, which I did, I thanked him and he said it was lovely meeting me.

Problem is, I havent heard from him. He does have a daughter which he has more than half the time. Plus it is CHristmas. He is also travelling to England on friday for 2 weeks because his father lives there and is at end of life. So, its been 4 days, should I consider it a dead end or give it more time?? Should I contact him?

ANy input would be great! FYI Im at work today thats why this is being sent out on christmas!! lol,...

 

Frown

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Wed, 12-25-2013 - 9:41pm

No, I would not contact him. Let the guy make most of the effort at the beginning to guage his interest. Of course respond if he communicates with you, but always let him be the initator at the beginning. If a person takes time to go to the bathroom or eat lunch, he has time to make a five minute phone call. That's all it would take to phone you, say how much he enjoyed the first meeting, and let you know when he was free again for a second date, even if it's 3 or 4 weeks away because of his traveling status. I did OLD for several years, and sad to say many of my first dates went like yours and ended with the guy never contacting me again. One guy that I did like waited a few weeks to ask me out again. On that date, I found out that he would be dating many women at a time for a while and didn't want to be exclusive with anyone, so he didn't match my dating goals so I moved on. When I met my future husband and I met, he asked me out for the very next night after the 1st date, and then called every day and set up dates with me twice a week. I know not every guy will go that far, but hold out for one who makes it clear how crazy he is about you. I hope you find one worthy of you in 2014!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-26-2013 - 10:29am

Considering the situation--holidays & sick father--I would cut this guy more slack than I would otherwise.  I think he probably has more on his mind right now than dating so I would just wait until he contacts you.  If he was going on a regular vacation then I might suggest texting him to say have a nice trip, but how could you do that when his father is sick--and you can't even say I hope your father is ok.  So just wait & see.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 1:42pm

 Always be assertive.  Some men do not chase.  I am one who will not chase.  I have a life and do not need games.  Do not wait by the phone.  Remember it is holiday season ,football season,superbowl season too.  Many people have made plans.  It may be there is nothing wrong but has obligations too.   The men who are chasers quit when they hav the prize what ever that prize might be.

Goldfish

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 01-15-2014 - 1:42pm

 Always be assertive.  Some men do not chase.  I am one who will not chase.  I have a life and do not need games.  Do not wait by the phone.  Remember it is holiday season ,football season,superbowl season too.  Many people have made plans.  It may be there is nothing wrong but has obligations too.   The men who are chasers quit when they hav the prize what ever that prize might be.

Goldfish