problem with a guy friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2007
problem with a guy friend
7
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 1:45am

okay so, i've known this guy my entire life. i've been best friends with his two younger brothers forever! never really got to talk to him much until this past year. we talk all the time and i really started to care about him... but he's away right now working in another country. he's been away for almost a year. he came back a few weeks ago and took me to his older brothers wedding. he was back for a couple weeks and hes gone again. we spent a lot of time together while he was here and even hooked up. he's always telling me he likes things about me and giving me compliments. so here's my problem, he comes home soon for good, and i really care about him a lot. as a friend and even more. but i'm really afraid to ask him if he wants something more because i dont want to ruin a friendship by making it awkward if he isnt looking for something more. especially because im so close with his family already.
his friends say he talks about me a lot over where he lives. the only problem i see is there is an age difference that some of his girl friends dont like. im a little bit younger than him and they have no problem expressing their opinion about it freely to me. so i guess my question is, should i approach him about this when he gets home? or just stay friends? its such a complicated situation and im terrified of losing such a great friend. we have so much in common and he's really a great guy.
please help!!!

Edited 4/10/2007 1:49 am ET by dramarama




Edited 4/10/2007 2:08 am ET by dramarama
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:12am
I sense agony. You are in a pickle aren't you. Since this is a delicate situation, you could try just flirting with him and see if he responds. If he responds that could mean that he also finds you attractive. Usually with flirting one thing leads to another. But if things do not progress you can then approach him, but carefully. If it were me, I would say something like, "you know, if I met you today, I would want to date you." And then he might say, "Oh, so you wouldn't want to date me now?" And then you could say, "sure I would." And then leave it at that. Let him brood about it for a while if he doesn't respond to you right away. Good luck. I hope it works out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 2:50pm
i'm really trying not to worry about it. at least til he comes back. but its still frustrating. and i havent stopped dating either because i know that there is no use in holding back for an unsure thing. sucks though because i'm not really a sit back and see where things go, kinda girl.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2002
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 5:14pm

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Sounds like a good plan...

And I would ignore his catty female friends too...

Sorry. I forgot the part about what to do when he gets back... See how you feel about him then. You might meet someone who will sweep you off your feet while you're waiting for him to come back. If you still like him, then you can always test the waters like snafu said in the other post.




Edited 4/10/2007 5:17 pm ET by teeenybubbles
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 6:46pm
I don't like being a passive participant in my life either. Do you have any special plans for when he returns, like a special night out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 8:42pm
no because i dont even know when he will be back for sure. probably next month but theres always a possibility he will take the next contract
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 1:15am
Bummer :-( n/t
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 9:05am
Has he ever given you any indication that he may be interested in something more?