Psycho Chick! Please Help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Psycho Chick! Please Help!!
5
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 11:57pm

I am writing this on behalf of a male friend and frankly, I am also flabbergasted and unknowing what to do about this situation. We seriously need some help and advice.

My friend started dating this girl at our work about 2 months ago. He was warned she seemed a little off by another mutal friend of ours but he was hard headed and decided to find it out for himself, and boy did he.

They only dated for a month and a half and he had to end it. She would call him several times a day and text message him even more. She would spend EVERY minute at his place and would never get the hint to leave. When she wasn't working and he was...she'd be there. She wouldn't allow him to go out with friends, etc which is pretty much the big reason why he dumped her---just too smothering. Basically she was very clingy and boderline obsessive.

She then snapped. She refused to take his break up seriously and told everyone they're "just on a break". He has actually told her 4 times they are over and done with but she refuses to believe it. She is trying to get him to be her escort to a wedding and he said "no, we're not dating and I am not going". She invited him over to her house to spend the night next week because her parents were going away and she didn't want to be alone. He said "no, I'm not...we didn't even do that when we dated, what makes you think I'd want to now that we're not?" She has on several occasions since the break up sat in front of his apartment waiting for him to come home. Luckily his roommate called him and warned him so he would stay out until it was safe to come home. She still goes into work when she's off shift while he's working to try to get his attention. She told fellow coworkers that they were planning on getting married and he never even said he loved her once. She then got angry one day by the lack of attention she was recieving so she threatened to beat up his sister (who goes to a neigboring college) if she ever saw her again. She rides by his place at least twice day if she's off work and once a day if she is working. She left a cookie on his windshield which sat out in the morning sun and melted all over and then leaves a txt message "I just thought you'd like a cookie." She jumped off a roof of a friend's the other night showing off at a party (and not drunk) and broke her leg. She promptly called my friend and left a voicemail message that she was going to the hospital, which he didn't return. She had to work the next day, but called off obviously...then asked to be driven to our work by her mother to hand in a doctor's note only to see him and to show him her broken leg, which he acted pretty indifferent to. She now can't drive because it's her right foot, so she can no longer drive by his house...we thought that would be his savior but now she's thrown out a monkey wrench...........

She claims she is pregnant and it's his. She dropped this bombshell on him yesterday....24 hours after he ignored her when she was in work with her mom and her broken leg with the doctor's note.

He flat out told me he didn't have sex with her. They fooled around but insisted there was no possible way she could be pregnant by him due to the fact of what happened between them. I asked if there was any possible way any sperm such as on the hands or anything could of came in contact with her and it was a resounding no. He said she was also supposedly on the seasonale birth control which only allows your period 4 times out of the year.

She has had 3 abortions and 1 miscarriage and was told she will more than likely not be able to have children because of the abortions which is why she miscarried. She also told him she can't remember to take a pill every day and is allergic to condoms which is why he didn't have sex with her.

She pulled out a pregnancy test but he and all of us are suspicious it could be an old one. One of her friends who was a staunch ally for her through all of this is now wondering if she is lying. Her friend is trying to get her to do another pregnancy test right in front of her but she is making excuses to why she can't. (i.e. "I'm not home") I qestioned if she having only 4 periods a year, what made her think she was pregnant or to take a test? That's the buring question and she is also refusing to tell anyone, especially my friend when her last period was.

So is there anything that can be done? Anything to scare this chick straight. The restraing order idea is being tossed around. This girl is the biggest wack job I have ever seen and she is doing everything to hang onto this guy. Yeah, the possibility could be something went "oops" and she is pregnant by him, but wow...it's awful funny she's done everything she could to grab his attention and now the old stand by "I'm pregant" is thrown out there. I stayed out of it as much as possible except giving him adivce in confidence and trying to soothe his anxiety. Any advice would be appreciated that I could pass along.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 1:27am

Wow, he really made a mistake getting involved with her...poor guy!

A couple thoughts on what he needs to do:

1. No contact, AT ALL. He needs to totally ignore her, and only communicate with her if it's absolutely necessary at work.

2. The only exception to #1 is that he should send her an email (or letter--certified) saying that she needs to provide him with a copy of the results of a pregnancy test done by a doctor and if she is in fact pregnant, he will proceed with DNA testing as soon as that is possible to verify the child is his. Any other contact with him other than what is absolutely necessary at work, and he will go to the police to file harrassment charges and/or get a restraining order.

3. He should block her from calling or email him if that's possible.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 9:19am

Well if he's adamant they did nothing remotely close to her getting pregnant than he has nothing to worry about, he should look into getting a TRO. I would document everytime she is hanging outside of his home, including taking pictures, keeping text messages, phone calls anything that has the date and time so you can prove all the stalking she's doing.

He shouldn't engage her at all, he shouldn't talk to her at all and he should continue to ignore her and just keep collecting evidence and contact an attorney. If he gives her anything such as a call or talking too at all she'll keep it up. I'd change my home phone number to an unlisted number as well as pay the money to change my cell phone number.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 12:01pm
Thanks Sheri and Sniffle_Sally... all of those are wonderful ideas and I will pass them along. However, this may seems stupid but what is a TRO? Again, many thanks....I'll try to get a hold of him today.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 12:33pm
Temporary Restraining Order
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 08-03-2005 - 12:45pm
TRO = Temporary Restraining Order