Question....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Question....
5
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 8:22pm

I just moved and I really don’t know anyone. There is this guy that I believe likes me. He keeps hinting at going out by he just really hasn’t asked yet. Anyways like I said I am new to the town I live at now and really don’t know anyone.

I am really not attracted to him AT ALL. However, he is a very nice and a sweet guy. With this in mind I think well may-be I will go out with him. Just because of the fact that I am new here and it would be nice to have someone to hang out with. Not so that I can say that I have a boyfriend. I could careless. I know if I tell him I think of him as a friend not as a boyfriend he will avoid me like the plague and I will have no one to hang out with.

See I am conflicted. I think to myself he really isn’t my type. I can’t tell you why he's not; its just that I know he is not my type. Also, I would know that the relationship would not go anywhere but he wouldn’t. I don't really care to date him but like I said I really don't have anyone else. To me this seems so cruel. Is it? I can’t figure out what I should do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: call_me_diva
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:37am

If you know he's not your type, I would not lead him on. Tell him straight... 'listen, I would love to make friends here since I'm new. I want you as my friend!' Let him have the choice after that otherwise to me, it's not fair.


Hope this helps.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: call_me_diva
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 8:07am
If you are not attracted to him, say to him "let's hang out, it would be awesome to be friends" but also make sure you offer to pay. I hung out with a guy once and he totally was not my type, but he took the hanging out the wrong way and he pestered me for a long while about going out again until I told him I really was not interested in him in that way...so be careful when "going out" with a guy for a first time as they tend to read more into it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: call_me_diva
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 12:15pm
Don't hang out with someone who likes you as more than a friend. As long as you'll hang out with him, he will always be hoping and pestering you. I was in the same situation you were and this guy pestered me for the next ten years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
In reply to: call_me_diva
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:14pm
I say go out with him and then take it from there.
Ofcourse, don't make it seem like a 'date'. You both could just hang out for coffee and a snack in the evening, or something shorter than an entire evening. But he hasn't asked you out directly either. Inanycase, yes, it is good to make things clear at the very beginning, if you are dead sure, but I say, don't be too hasty right now, since you don't really 'know' him and his intentions very well, right? Maybe he might be good with a friendship, you never know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: call_me_diva
Thu, 02-02-2006 - 1:24pm
Tell him you're new to area and for now would love to meet people. tell him you're looking more for friendships now as you adjust to so many new things. He shouldn't avoid you like the plague because you're not instantly up for romance. And romances can build from friendships, believe me - I wound up living with someone who did not fit my physical "checklist" one iota!
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