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| Wed, 12-28-2005 - 1:49pm |
Hello
I'm not sure if this is the right board but I'm going to start here.
I'm single in the sense that I'm not married but I do have a serious b/f of 5 years. He is in the process of buying me a ring because I told him I want a symbol of commitment. We have no plans to get married but are committed to each other and are looking for a house at the present time. We're calling the ring an Eternity Ring which symbolizes the commitment.
Has anyone else ever gotten a ring with no intent of getting married? Obviously it makes others ask questions and I'm being clear that we are not engaged. I just told two friends at work who are married and one never replied and the other just said "pretty". I get the impression they think my b/f has influenced me in some way to not want to get married which isn't the case. Should I be bummed?

Hi d_h_a_r_m_a....
Pianoguy thinks that if each of you are comfortable with "just a mutual friendship"...GREAT! Problem is....usually one half of a couple wants MORE!
As far as accepting a ring, "friendship rings" in all shapes and sizes are offered all the time...to every age group. You could be a 3rd grader, in high school or college, perhaps a widow? And what the ring actually means can vary depending upon the person who gives it away.
What you might want to ask yourself is:
"IS A RING ENOUGH FOR ME?" And after you arrive at a 'yes or no' answer...CAN YOU HONESTLY EXPECT NOTHING MORE OUT OF THE FRIENDSHIP/RELATIONSHIP YOU'RE IN???
Pianoguy
What others think really isn't important in the grand scheme of things.
Just a thought, can either one of you handle those mortgage payments on your own?
Thanks for your input! It just bums me out that when they got engaged I was happy for them, ooo'd and aahh'd over their rings and I got nothing because it's 'not official'. The one girl finally responded today and all she had to ask was "where are you getting it from".
I felt like we were taking a step in our relationship and I expected people to be happy for me. I guess unless you come out with news that you're getting married it's too much to expect. I'm totally unconventionally and the ring I picked reflects that. I've just always felt so much pressure to live up to other's expectations that I take it personally.
The problem here is that we have cultural system of when and how to feel joyous for other people. An engagement ring will render an oh and ah. A marriage will render gifts and showers.
There is no standard acceptable reaction for a "commitment ring". You are taking a different path so people don't know how to react.