question about dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
question about dating
3
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 11:09pm
I recently realized that I've never really just dated. I mean, I've had boyfriends for extended periods of time, but I’ve never just dated a few people over a span of say, several months. I always thought that it wasn’t a good idea to date more than one person at once, that it could make you look unreliable, deceiving and indecisive to a guy who’s a really great catch and wants a girlfriend but doesn’t want to feel like they’re going through a “selection” process with you. Now I’m in a situation where I could very well start getting into a relationship soon but would like to give other guys a chance. My friend just set me up on a blind date with a terrific guy, but there’s someone else I just got in touch with from high school who wants to go out when he’s in town over the thanksgiving holiday. Then there’s another guy I’ve been talking to online who’s a possibility. What’s the best way to handle this without turning off all three?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 9:28am
As long as you haven't committed to being exclusive with any man you are free to date whomever you want. Just make it clear that you want to keep things light and breezy with these men and you should be fine, untill you change your mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 12:39pm
I can only echo what Chamey said. Unless you've agreed to be exclusive with him, you're doing nothing wrong by dating other guys.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-11-2005 - 1:50pm

I agree with the other posters. A couple of additional thoughts:

For me, personally, it doesn't work to be having sex with anyone during this non-exclusive dating period.

If a guy asks me if I'm dating other people, I will answer truthfully, but otherwise I don't bring it up and I certainly don't discuss the other people I'm dating or the details of dates (that's tacky IMO). I assume he is dating others as well.

I like to date someone for a couple months to get to know them pretty well before I commit to dating them exclusively, so if a guy asks me to be exclusive sooner than that, I explain this to him. So far, that hasn't posed a problem (well it was for one guy but I believe he was mostly looking for sex, not an LTR).

Sheri