Question Friends or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Question Friends or more?
2
Wed, 11-06-2013 - 12:18pm

Hi Everyone, 

I met a gentleman at locale store where he works about 12 years ago.  Since then we have been saying hi asking about work health...etc.  He was attached until four years ago.  I was attracted to him since day one for 12 years ago.    Two months ago I had a minor surgery,   few weeks after I told him with what happened to me and he offered to let him know any thing that I need help for, and he gave me his phone numebr.  Two weeks later I called him I asked for a help he came to help me and he gave me a squeeze big hug and kisses on my cheeks.  He still waiting to ask him for more help.


My question is how can I tell weather this is pure friendship or more, on his side?  Should I ask him what kind of friendship he would like to have with me,  I do know what I want? (I would like to get to know him as a friend first and see what happens). How can I invite him to go for coffee or movies etc without showing him what I feel?


Thank you


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Fri, 11-08-2013 - 10:01am

Thank you Musiclover great advice.

Carina

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2004
Fri, 11-08-2013 - 10:01am

Thank you Musiclover great advice.

Carina

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-06-2013 - 5:32pm

How about saying something like "[name], I really appreciate your help so much when I was sick.  I'd like to take you out for lunch."  (I'd probably say lunch rather than dinner cause it's less like a date so if it seems like he is only into you as a friend, it would be less awkward.  Then you can spend some time together and see what happens.  I don't really think you can ask someone directly "what kind of friendship would you like?" because I wouldn't even know how to answer that question if I was on the receiving end of it.  If you ask him what you really want to know, which is whether he is interested in you romantically, it puts him on the spot.