question from a man...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
question from a man...
3
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 12:11pm
out in the dating world again, and facing my old nervousness at approaching a woman. I notice that, much as women complain, the sleazy guys who make any kind of gesture are still more well-liked just because contact is attempted. I, however, just cannot act that way. I look for some kind of "natural" opening to conversation. I suppose I could invent one, it just doesn't turn up that much though.
I'm not a guy that if you saw me in a bar you'd say "Wow". I'm trim but balding, and I look intellectual. I guess if I could not have the feeling of "being shot down" I could be more reckless. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 12:16pm
Thought I'd respond... haven't been on these boards in awhile but I'll let you know what I think. Confidence is very appealing to me. I do not like being picked up at a bar but if someone approaches me and seems to have a lot of confidence, it certainly keeps my attention. I find that it's a lot easier to meet people outside of bars. Finding something you enjoy, a reading club, church, hiking groups- and meeting people that you already know have the same interest. It's easier to strike up a conversation without it seeming like a pick-up line
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 5:02pm

The advice I have for you is to be yourself!!

Yes, sleazy guys always make a move on the girl no matter who she is and may start a conversation but usually the girls walks away after she figures out what he is about. I've also had guys come a talk to me that look so scared and nervous I feel scared and freak out at the same time and walk away as well. The time I let guys talk to me is when they are themselves, not putting up an act, not acting desperate...they are just trying to make decent conversation and make me laugh :)

Just walk up to a girl you are interested and say Hi and take it from there, just be yourself and you should be fine.

GOOD LUCK!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2004
Mon, 12-13-2004 - 5:36pm
yeah i guess what it comes down to is i should just forget about meeting women in bars. but there was one last night who seemed to want me to. and i'm just not mr. sauve, especially when she's surrounded by 3 of her girlfriends. so, it didn't happen.