Questions about dating

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-14-2004
Questions about dating
1
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 3:46pm
Hey, some advice would be appreciated here :) I've been "seeing" this guy for about 3 weeks now. We haven't had the talk.. like if we're dating or hanging out or where we stand. He took me on a date but it was with all his friends and their girls. It was fun, he paid and all. We are both busy with school and go to the same campus, both 21 years old. He has asked me questions about my family, my major, stuff like that. Now we just hang out.. like we'll go over to each others apts and watch tv but we're affectionate.. holding hands, cuddling, stuff like that. We do this in front of each others friends and when I call him, they even know it's me without having to ask. He'll leave me messages on my IM, like "just sayin hi, have a good day, or I hope to see you later." Lately we've become a bit more intimate(no sex though), and he would stay at my place. He got me this cute pin as a little gift and everything. Maybe I shouldnt' complain but now we never actually go on date, out to dinner, stuff like that. It's always his friends or mine. And on weekends, since we both love to dance, we go to the bars drunk and just have a good time. I just would like to actually go somewhere alone with him. Is he just taking it slow with me? He says he loves hanging out with me and my roomies and I like hanging with his roomies too. One thing that struck me was we spent all this time together and we don't even know each others last names!! If he cared wouldn't he ask me? Or ask me about my relationship past? Seems like I'm the one that has to ask the "serious" questions. Maybe he just wants to hang out and not have a relationship? Since the semester is almost up should I ask him where we stand? Because I see this as going somewhere and I dont know if he's in this for "fun". what should i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 6:56am
meliss202004...

2 things:

1. Exchange last names with this gentleman....you should have done this earlier.

2. Ask him outright if he's more comfortable with a group of people..as opposed to being alone with you.

Keep in mind...there are a few of us (males) who find "safety in numbers" because there will always be somebody around to keep the conversation light. Heavy emotional stuff isn't comfortable for all of us! And believe it or not...a few of us run out of things to say when we're trying to relate to a lovely lady like yourself! This makes a new relationship a bit awkward.

There's obviously an interest on his part, but the only way to "gage it" is to get some information. SO ASK! And hope for the best!

Pianoguy