Questions about his behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Questions about his behavior
1
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 7:06pm
Ive been dating a guy for three months and we are both going through a divorce. I hate my ex but have always wondered what is on his mind. First of all sometimes he slips up and calls me her name. He says he hates her but can he be that stupid to mix up names? Then I went to an attorney to start my divorce ( we were both separated when we met) but it took me fussing at him for him to finally go get an attorney and start his. Another thing is the house they had was in her name so he is letting her keep it but she has a car that is in his name which he promised me I could drive when mine was in the shop and that he would let me have the stereo system out of it too since he was going to get it back from her. Well all that changed, he decided to let her have to car and me (his girlfriend) was stuck without a ride while she was driving his car around. He's trying to tell me that by law he has to let her have one of the vehicles (they have two) but she has the house so I don't think that's true. Another thing is for about a month and a half into our relationship he was STILL paying her cell phone bill (she's on his plan). He kept saying he was going to cut it off and let his 13 yr old daught have the phone and never did. Finally when I told him it was bothering me he changed it over. My problem is why should he do all those things for his ex and not do anything for me? I spend money on him a lot but he rarely does things for me. He even had a picture of her on his wall he said his mom put up but he left it up until one day when she pissed him off then he took it down. Something just doesn't feel right here. He swears he loves me and wants to be with me but why is it that he did so much for her when he had the money but nothing for me. It has all since stopped but I can't get over the fact that I've bent over backwards for him and he doesn't do much for me. He only works a little bit becuase "work is slow". What would you think. I think he still loves his ex but he says he left her becuase he didn't love her. Then why keep paying a cell phone for an ex and just let her have the car you said I could drive and keep the stereo system you said I could have since my ex broke mine. SO now here I am with an empty wallet, broken system and feeling betrayed by my new man.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 2:27am
Honey, the man will never be free to start fresh until he divorces his wife once and for all. Apparently, this man doesn't make any desicions for himself, he waits for others to tell him what to do. I wonder why his wife is divorcing him?....He says he "hates her" yet calls you her name and still pays her bills. It appears that this guy needs some "pushing" around to do things and in the long run it'll get old and tiring. Believe in his actions and not in his words. This guy is not over his wife yet. You're giving 99% and he's taking it all.