Question...should I be concerned?
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| Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:47pm |
Hi all...
I have just started dating a wonderful man and things are going amazingly....he is intelligent, successful, educated, comes from a good family, our passion level is off the charts....this list goes on and on. He is awesome...loves the little things in life like taking drives, being romantic....and he respects me SO much.
But....I have a question. The one thing I have noticed that might possibly be a red flag is that he is ok letting me pay for things. He will pay more often than not, but sometimes he just wants me to pay. I guess it is ok that we share, but I feel like he might be kind of cheap. But that is not my biggest red flag. I think it is ok that I pay once in awhile (even though he knows I don't make that much money and he does very well).
So this past weekend we went to lunch at a little family owned cafe and we were waited on by the old man that co-owns the cafe. My boyfriend was very cordial to him and always is to wait staff, but when it came time to pay, he paid at the register and then walked out with me. It dawned on me that he didn't leave a tip! So I called him on it. He said "oh yeah, I didn't leave one" It seemed that he had forgotten. But instead of going back to leave a tip, he just said "Oh he will get more tips as the day goes on." !! I was a bit shocked.
My immediate reaction was to be shocked. I mean that is inconsiderate in my book. But....I think he was embarassed that he forgot and he didn't want to go back to leave one. Should I be horribly concerned that this is a big red flag, or no? Help!!
Marie

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Maybe...but he should have asked directly if she would mind leaving the tip, rather than playing a passive-aggressive game and pretending to forget.
That would be almost as much of a turn-off to me as being cheap.>>
I think these two need to sit down and have an honest discussion about money. Iri
I would think this was a huge red flag. I cannot fathom how someone could just "forget" to leave a tip.
I have actually screwed up the math on my hair salon bill. I didnt realize it til I was across town that I didnt leave ENOUGH tip. I was so mortified I drove all the way back because I didnt want to "short change" them.
He might have been "cordial" to them. But, he was downright rude & disrespectful not to tip.
Keep your eyes on him. See if it gets worse. My prediction is yes.
Hi all,
I appreciate all your responses. I actually did have a money talk with him and I have come to realize that he is just a saver. He has a strict budget that he sticks to every month. I am not like him in that regard, but I am learing how to be. Other than that though, he is WONDERFUL.
Ladies (and men if you are on here), I have found a man who treasures me FOR ME! I never thought I would, but I did. He is a wonderful person and I can't wait to see where it goes.
Thanks again!
Jill
Hmm...a saver who thinks it's ok not to tip servers because he's on a budget? I'd still have a problem with that personally but it sounds like you've made peace with it.
Sheri
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