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| Wed, 04-25-2007 - 5:09pm |
hi guys. for those of you who have read my previous this is the same guy that i said i was casually dating. :)
how do u tell a guy that you want him to take more initative. like i dont mind planning most of the dates, but after we see each other i want him to ask me what im doing for the week/weekend, not me always ask him. i just ask him because im a bit more of the impatient types, so i know i need to work on that aspect. i will be seeing him monday and so during that visit we're supposed to come up with a day that we'll go on a date again. the time doesn't have to be set yet, but i think the day should be.he said he likes agressive women, but im assertive not aggresive. lol. im blunt and hes blunt so im going to say something i was just wondering what people thought. im just wondering if people think hes going to freak out.

Yes, let him ask.
You can ask straight forward questions, too. You don't have to put all your cards out on the table first. The reason I am also suggesting that you ask him questions, in addition to stating your feelings is because you indictated in the above post that you really don't know how he feels and why he doesn't take more initiative. You may change some of your options or opinions once you find out how he really feels and views the situation,so you may not want to come out with both barrels blazing.
With a casual relationship, guys usually hang back and do let the woman do most of the traveling, planning, calling, etc. So his behavior may be indicative of the status of your relationship. You may have a different viewpoint as to what a casual relationship entails and what is expected of each other, like you have previously posted. You are probably right in noticing that he is holding back, because of the status of the relationship. Men who are in these types of relationships will purposely build space inbetween them and the woman to make sure no feelings escalate. Sometimes they don't call, or they do not want to see you or anything like that even up to a few months and then resume the calling because it will cycle back to sex again. If you want him to be more open and take more initiative, then maybe you would like to upgrade the status of the relationship, from casual and seeing others to "dating" but no commitment for marriage or living together or anything serious like that.
Seeing him once a week does leave him time to see others, but does indicate that you are a steady type of situation.
Good luck.