quick question about men

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
quick question about men
5
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 11:40am
IS IT NORMAL WHEN A GUY DOESN'T TALK ABOUT HIS PAST RELATIONSHIP? IF HE TALKS ABOUT HIS CHILDHOOD MEMORIES BUT NEVER HIS EXS IS THAT A BAD SIGN? OR MAYBE HE WANTS THE GIRL TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS PAST? WHAT IF HE HAS A CHILD BY ANOTHER WOMAN BUT DOESN'T MENTION HER AT ALL IS THAT NORMAL OR IS SOMETHING TO BE SUSPISIOUS ABOUT? ALL OPINIONS ARE DEEPLY WELCOME
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 12:24pm
I don't think it is bad. Usually girls don't want to hear too much about their ex's. How long have you known or been dating him? He could be waiting until you ask or you start talking about your ex's. But I definitely think it is necessary to wait to discuss your past romantic relationships until after a few dates or so. Talking about childhood pasts is good because he is revealing more about himself. So ==> I think it is normal.

Now if you ask him and he doesn't want to talk about it, then be a little concerned.

Hope this helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 8:33pm
I think initially it's appropriate to be vague about these things...but later of course you some answers to what's your longest relationship? why did it end? what are you looking for in a long term partner? are you looking for marriage, etc.

How long have you been dating?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 9:30am
THE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR 9 MONTHS. THE REASON HE BROKE UP WITH HIS EX (BABY MOTHER)THEY HAD DIFFERENCES. HE TRIED TO HOLD ON FOR THE DAUGHTER. I HAVE NEVER REALLY ASK HIM ANYTHING MUCH ABOUT HIS PAST RELATIONSHIP. IHAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT MY PAST RELATIONSHIP. I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE IT'S STRANGE THAT HE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER'S MOTHER.ONE TIME I ASKED HIM WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP HE HAS WITH THE MOTHER AND HE SAID THAT THEY STILL TALK. OBVIOUSLY
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 11:27am
I don't think it's a bad thing that he doesn't want to talk about his ex-gf. It's always been kind of a dating faux pas to talk about past relationships. Honestly, I would more concerned if all he did was talk about her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 1:10pm
If he was to openly disclose on his past relationships how likely would it be that you would be jealous, hurt, disappointed, judgemental or hold this information against him in a negative manner?

This is the #1 reason why men don't reveal all in these types of situations. When a man opens up in this regard we become very vulnerable. When we do this we are also giving you 100% trust that you will protect the information and our vulnerabilities from becoming public.