Quiestioning, does it make me a villain

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Quiestioning, does it make me a villain
6
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 4:09pm


Hello, I need an advice on how to handle the following situation.

Yesterday my loving bf had a party at his house and the conversation

with his friends went like this:"Jackie (his friend), remember

last summer we went to a wedding party and you went away and left

me there with a bunch of strangers I didn't know?" to which Jackie

replied:"Do you want me to continue with this story ? What about your

involvment with the skunk ? I will sink you..." ??? OK I thought to myself,

I will quesiton him later. This did alarm me because we started dating

exclusively last May. I was supposed to stay at his house yesterday

but I did not feel comfortable with this idea and decided to go home. I said

good-bye to the remaining friends and as I was just about to leave he asked me

what was wrong, and I said whatever Jackie said did not make me feel comfortable.

Well, he got very offended and acted like an injured party, actually,

this is a trend in our relationship, he does not like to be quesitoned or told that

he is in the wrong. So he yelled at me and I left.

Anyway, today it's 4:00 and I haven't heard a word from him. I would expect a

real man to phone with some sort of an explanation of what his firend's comment meant.

Am I wrong for questiioning him ? One fo my friends said if

I completely trusted him this woud not be happening, but it's hard to ignore that comment.

I am trying to be as reasonable as I possibly can under the circumstances.

olga.







iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 4:38pm

Hello olga!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 10:01pm
TG... I agree with you up to the point of how the OP handled it. If she just wanted to know what had happened during that wedding, she could have asked what the bf's friend meant... BUT she assumed what occurred, got upset and left because she didn't feel comfortable with the comment... that's different than just trying to find out info.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 10:13pm
I agree... just asking rather than reacting in that manner might have made a difference. However, it strikes me that this man is of the type that he doesn't like being questioned about anything at anytime concerning his behavior and I think maybe the OP handled it the way she thought best at the time.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 10:20pm
Agreed on him not being the type to question... It's hard when you have a person who doesn't want to be questioned and one who does... Causes easy friction. I had a bf like this once but he taught me a lot and made me realize I also scrutinized him! A great lesson for me... But definitely frustrating.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 10:25pm
Then you know that one who is controlling will tend to bite your head off if you question them... I suspect this is what happened in this case and she elected to approach it from a different angle...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 6:18am
Someone ought to write a book on all of this stuff... ;)