Real Mad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
Real Mad
10
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 8:58pm
Hi all...have not been on in a while...trying to keep busy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
In reply to: marveloustobe
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 9:10pm
Maybe your co-worker felt that after 7 months you would really be over it, had moved on, and didn't intend any ill-will toward you.
LG
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: marveloustobe
Wed, 10-17-2007 - 9:21pm

Yeah maybe, but it was inappropriate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: marveloustobe
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 10:32am

I believe you when you say something was wrong with the way she approached the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: marveloustobe
Thu, 10-18-2007 - 1:24pm

I totally agree with you on several points however your friend does not read minds or hearts. She doesn't know that you are still sensitive to this guy. I totally understand b/c I am living it also.


I did have to talk to a friend of mine and I said "I hope you understand but I just don't want to hear about G, his life, his name or anything about him. I know that he is a common denominator in our friendship but I hope you understand." She was very understanding. She just didn't know until I told her. Don't feel bad being vulnerable to your girlfriends. She may need to do the same with you some day.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: marveloustobe
Fri, 10-19-2007 - 3:36pm

Thank you all for your help & advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: marveloustobe
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 11:16am
I dated a guy for 7 weeks and did NOT have sex with him but I thought he was the one. We never really had a break up conversation. He just pushed me away I got mad and we were done. But I held on to him for a year. I know I know a whole year. Every time I saw him I hoped he would take one look at me and fall madly in love with me and we would start all over again. I didn't tell anyone how I felt though. When I finally talked to my bf she told me she had "No clue that I was still pining for him. That I did a good job of hiding my true feelings." It wasn't until I called him and asked him to meet me for a 30 min conversation that I got something totally unexpected, closure. I wanted to tell him lets me friends again and move forward. That we wasted the last year by avoiding each other. Of course deep down I was hoping we would start as friends and work our way back to dating. But, Before I could say my speech to him he told me "I'm a private person. Private to a fault. I was interested in you but I didn't know what I wanted. I am not one of those men that needs to be in a relationship. I just don't. If I don't end it with you back then I would have played you. I am sexually attracted to you and I still am but I just need to feel like I need to feel it in my heart. Drop down on my knees in my heart." Other than this crushing me in so many ways it was what I needed to hear. At that very moment the switch flipped from your the one to you will never be the one. No man will ever tell me twice "I can't love you". For me after a year of thinking about him and still having very strong feelings for him this was the closure I needed. Obviously you can't contact your guy b/c he's involved with someone else but maybe you can get closure by talking with your co-worker/friend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: marveloustobe
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 1:39pm

Well if was information you were perhaps bound to find out at some point anyway.

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: marveloustobe
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 2:12pm
Yes, again its unlikely your friend thought it would hurt you to this degree.
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: marveloustobe
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 10:57pm

Hi...Yes, I know it's kinda ridiculous to feel like this, I didn't know I would even react like that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2006
In reply to: marveloustobe
Wed, 10-24-2007 - 11:05pm

Wow, yes I guess closure is a good thing.