Is This The Real Thing???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Is This The Real Thing???
3
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 3:27pm
I have posted about this guy before a few weeks ago. Well, our situation has progressed and we are now exclusively dating each other. He is EVERYTHING I could ever ask for in a man and he is wonderful. Yet, we both have agreed that there is something holding us back from being able to fully let go with each other. We had a heart-to-heart talk the other night and he told me how he feels about me. He said he feels I am someone who will be in his life for a really long time and that scares him a little. He said we have this undeniable connection on so many levels and yet he can't let go and be physically affectionate with me. We don't really flirt, but we have kissed and the passion is definitely there. We are both attracted to each other-he says he's never experienced this before and he thinks it might be a good thing. He told me he wants to do things right with me and not ruch into anything because he thinks I am special and he doesn't want to screw things up with me. Last night he bought me roses, made me dinner and I spent the night. He was more affectionate with me last night than usual. As we were laying in bed, he said "I still can't figure us out. We are different but I think that's a good thing." I said I thought so to. It's not like a lust thing-it's more like an I really want to get to know you better thing. He said it was almost more like a friends vibe right now, but that's what he wanted first. It's almost like we've known each other for a long time. He says he really enjoys spending time with me and that the more he does the more he feels compelled to get to know me better. I have been trying really hard to give him his space and to let go and just let things develop as they will. It's really hard for me. I just want to run up to him and hug him and kiss him and be all affectionate. But, I am trying to respect what he's asking for. I feel like this guy could really be something special and I am scared. I am so confused-he is so confused. Could it be that when something is really meant to be that this is how it is-I know every situation is different and you can't put a situation into a box and label it. That's kind of what I told him-maybe it can't be explained-just enjoy it. I feel like I'm home when I'm with him. I've never felt this way before. Should I be patient and see what develops??? Please help me.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 9:56pm

"He is EVERYTHING I could ever ask for in a man and he is wonderful."

no, he's not. listen to yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:38pm

i'm certainly no expert on these matters but I have a feeling he isn't sure how he feels. I personally think passion (physical passion) is really important for a relationship to be real and last.. and if he's not showing that yet, something's not right for him. when the friend word comes up you have to be prepared that he may never feel more than friends for you - I say this because it happened to me. Give it a bit of time, but if you start to fall harder for him make sure you tell him.... because if he's not reciprocating he may tell you and then you have to decide whether to wait indefinitely with the imbalance or move on. It's really hard... I've so been there. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be all over you any chance they get... (without just wanting sex)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 10:50am
I agree.
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