rebound woes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
rebound woes
1
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 11:56am
Hey,

I broke up with a guy that I had been with for 2 years about eight months ago. Normally, I am not the rebound type but a very nice guy asked me to go out on a date about a month and a half after the breakup. For some unfathomable reason, I said yes. We've been together ever since and I really like him. The problem is that I'm only human and, with such a short break between them, I can't help but transfer some of my emotional baggage from the last relationship over to the current one. We've been taking it very slowly, which helps, but I still worry about getting unreasonably angry with him for doing something the old guy used to do or getting too comfortable with him too fast. I know this is why people are supposed to take a break in-between relationships but I didn't and now I have to deal with this. Short of walking away from a potentially good relationship, is there any way I can figure out how to get it together without treating him unfairly or getting too attached too soon in the meantime? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
In reply to: punkinholler
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 12:29pm
Whatever you do, don't discuss the last guy with the new person you are dating. This could cause serious problems in the relationship in the long run.

Not to sound harsh, but often when we get "hurt" in relationships, its our own fault. I've been hurt badly in relationships because my expectations were too high, or I chose to not see the handwriting on the wall. Or I got involved with someone I knew, deep down inside, was no good for me. You need to accept "some" responsibility for the hurt you went through in a break-up. Dating involves taking risks. Is it worth the risk? If you seriously feel you aren't emotionally ready to get involved again, then don't do it. Wait a while.