Recent Breakup
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Recent Breakup
| Sun, 08-01-2004 - 1:14pm |
Sadly, I have been in a relationship for the last 18 months with a man who has full custody of his two children. He spends countless hours with them, and includes me somewhat, but not to the extent that I feel that I should be included by now. Often, I am the one who makes dinners, birthday togethers, nice Christmas parties, etc. for he and his immediate and extended family. He also lost his job last summer, and has a rocky history with employment in general. He promises to make more money to take care of his responsibilities and to not depend so much on me to provide nice things for him, his kids, etc. Recently, he has been asking for expensive gifts for his children in the form of heavy hinting. He is not all that attentive to me, and often shows up with a nice card to make up for his absences. Lately, when he sent me a card to let me know he'd be thinking of me while he and his sons attended baseball functions, many, many of them; I started to become so angry. I am invited if I wish to attend, but I know he feels guilty about so little time for me. He'll say things like "We just do as we please," Or "it's good neither one of us is needy." Now I am probably the least "needy" woman, or man that I know, but enough is enough. Somehow, I am good enough to pick up his dad at the airport (2 hour drive one way), but not considered when they have a cookout on the only day that there isn't a ball game. I, by the way, have patiently waited through all his children's activities and have resepcted their needs. When I came over, unannounced on the aforementioned lone evening without a ball game and saw the cookout without me, I left immediately. That is only the 2nd time in 18 months that I have ever showed up unannounced too. I am glad I did, but now feel miserable. We went out 2 days after that little incident, I told him to grow up and haven't heard from him AT ALL. I will definitely will not call him, but feel that after so long, and after such good treatment from me, he should explain himself. I am moving on, have started dating after two months of mourning, but still feel terrible. Why does someone who tells you he loves you all the time treat you with so little respect?

Sheri
Thanks for your reply. I know that my instincts are screaming that he can never give me what I want; and it puzzles me why I would want him now anyway. I am sure as time goes on it will be easier. As I am sure you know, it hurts so to be deceived or whatever it is that he does to seemingly care, yet not care at the same time. I feel so used, or as my brother advised, "He can't call you to explain because all of his excuses are spent."
Does that make sense to you? One big red flag I ignored at the beginning was when he told me his last girlfriend bought him his expensive wardrobe. I knew he couldn't afford the quality of the clothes he was wearing, so asked where he got them. Why am I surprised, I wonder? Now he has many nice, expensive gifts from me to he and his two children, not to mention a few trips thrown in there too. I feel so stupid. It's nice to vent though.
Thanks,
Linda