Relationship advice plz advize (long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Relationship advice plz advize (long)
1
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 11:50am
Me and my ex broke up last july and it was the most painful thing i ever went through. He and i lived together for three years and finally one morning he woke up and i never saw him again, he wrote me a 'break up' note and said he would be back in a couple days to pick up everything. Well i obviously ended up moving having not been able to afford the house on my own. I went through absolute hell and didn't think i would ever get through it. I was in pain for months. I knew why he left me and it was because i bugged him about how ready i was for a baby and marriage came up as well. I knew he was inlove with me but he obviously fell out of love. I loved him so much and am still inlvoe with him. Sometimes i wonder if i am ever going to fall inlvoe again. I am with a guy right now and we actually live together and i am not very happy, he is inlov ewith me but i am not inlove with him. He is a great guy, but deep down i know we won't be together for long, i am just not happy with him. I don't know what to do. To tell you the truth i have thought about it but i can't afford to live on my own, not even close. I have to much of a student loan and to many bills, i have never been able to live on my own and no i dont' have anyone that i can live with for the time being. The guy i am with right now treats me great, absolutly great, i could'ent ask for anything better, but the way he dresses, the amount of fat that his on his body, actually let me refrais that, HE HAS NO FAT he is deadly thin, and he isn't the best looking, Most things about him tells me he is the one i should be settling down with, i know my future will be secure with him, i mean we have even discussed children. I think i feel this way because i am still inlove with my ex. I wish i was not, maybe i feel this way about steve because i still love jeff, i am so confused. I don't know why i've posted but i can certainly see me staying with steve because that is the only option. I don't want jeff back because there are certainl things that i just watn to stay away from. so i don't know what is going on.

Sincerely,

Truly confused,

Thanks

Carrie



Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 2:44pm
Carrie, you are indeed confused girl! I just think that every relationship is a learning and growing experience. Now you know NOT to bug the next man that you sincerely love- for marriage and children. NOTHING scares them off as much as that! Your ex went to extremes; he should not have up and left you the way he did, that was horrible. I hope that you have the strength to get over him, you can get better.

Now as for your current situation, I am sorry that you cannot afford to live on your own. Don't you have anyone; maybe a past roomate from college that you could shack up with? Heck- there are ads in the local paper all of the time for roomies. That can be shady- but they screen you as much as you screen them. It could work.

I think you should get out from under living with your boyfriends. Live on your own with some girls or plain friends. It just doesn't sound like you LOVE your current beau, you need to break free. You sound too young to be ready to settle, seriously. Make other options work and be strong.