Relationship Rehab ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Relationship Rehab ?
4
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 5:51pm

These are lyrics from a song by Kelly Clarkson called "Addicted"... that kind of describe a portion of how I'm feeling right now:
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It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time

It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts, in my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me

It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways if I don't give you up now

I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time, then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
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DATING DOYENNE:

Is there such a thing as "rehab" for getting over a relationship? I've invested 8 of my 29 years to a man (actually boy would be the better word since he's so childish, immature and irresponsible) that has broken my heart again & again. I can't do it anymore... I'm just too tired, too angry & too old to continue wasting my love on him. I'm going to try really hard to stay away from him, not take his calls, etc... but I feel like I'm addicted to him or something, and I am afraid that I won't be strong enough to resist him if he turns on the charm or whatever. So... what do I do? I was crying to my sister on the phone last night and she said "There should be a 12-Step Program or a Rehab Center for things like this!". So I was wondering, is there? Is there somewhere I can go to basically get treatment, to recover from the heartbreak that he has caused me, somewhere that I can go to heal and learn to move on? Maybe it's a stretch, but I just thought I would ask on of "The Experts". Thanks for your time....

R.

Rhandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:10pm
I don't know if there is a relationship rehab. But the next time he tries to turn on the charm, have a list handy of all the ugly things he has done to you. Hopefully, he will be contacting you by phone? Otherwise, you will have to commit the list to memory. I had a dumb bf break my heart over and over. He called and I had my list ready. During the conversation, I kept reviewing my list of all his wrong doings. I kept saying "no. It's over. You should have treated me better". Eventually, he got the message.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 12:48am
There is actually a codependency 12 step program that you could check out on the web. I have been in 5 back to back long term relationships that just haven't worked and have been semi-disfunctional in different ways and I finally got tired of jumping from relationship to relationship because I didn't really want to be alone and I do want a healthly relationship because i'm 29 and not getting any younger either. I figured out that I do have codependent tendencies. The group I go to is called coDA so check it out online. It has been helping me definately. It's a slow process but I see an improvement. Hearing others stories and working the steps does give you the strength to go on and leave your relationship that's not working for you. It does help to know that you are not alone, there are others out there going through the same exact thing. I hope this helps!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 1:08pm

<< "There should be a 12-Step Program or a Rehab Center for things like this!". So I was wondering, is there? >>

Yes, you should try CoDA (codependents anonymous) or SLAA (sex and love addicts anonymous).

Check out the Codeps Board here in iVillage.

Sounds like you just need some mending from a long-term, serious relationship ... which, of course, is VERY normal. If you don't have patterns that keep repeating themselves in your relationships, than you probably don't have the 'addictive' traits that many people in 12-step programs have. But, it could most certainly help with your healing ... especially, if you're having a hard time with the 'letting go' part of it.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:26pm
Actually there is CODA - codependents anonymous, it's a 12 step on the principle of AA.
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