relationships that are meant to be....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2006
relationships that are meant to be....
2
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 1:00pm
I am really confused about a situation and hope that someone can help me clarify it..I have been dating someone for about 2 months now but we have known each other for years off and on -we have been just friends for years but lost touch due to different paths in life and other situations. We reconnected recently and decided to give the boyfriend/girlfriend thing a try. Recently, he asks for my permission to have dinner with one of his old friends. This girl is someone he had compared every woman to in his life. According to him, he had put her on a pedestal and every girl never measured up. Then, she got married to someone else. Now, she is divorced and just bought her own place. She wanted to have dinner with him to talk about stuff. Part of me believes that she is his soul mate and fate has brought them together again now. I feel like I am in the way of their reunion. If I was not in the middle, perhaps, they will be together. Should I step aside and allow these two people a chance? Remember, she is the ideal girl to him....
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2005
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 1:06pm
I do believe that some people were meant to be together. I wouldn't "step aside" exactly though. Since you two have been friends for so long, I would sit down with him and talk about things. Maybe tell him that you know how much she has meant to him in the past, and that while you would really like for things to work out between you, that you will understand if he feels the need to give it a chance with her. But ask him for the respect of at least telling you before he decides to pursue something with her so that you can continue to be friends. He is going to be with her if he wants to, you can't stop that, but you can at least have some control over how things happen. And, you never know, maybe after being with you, you have become his "dream girl" and when he has dinner with her, will realize that SHE doesn't measure up to YOU. Don't count yourself out of the race before it even begins.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 02-10-2006 - 2:44pm

In general, people in relationships tend to focus on each other, not new people. This man is telling you that you make a great girlfriend, but for one night he is going to see what this other lady has to offer, he hopes you don't mind.

Tell him that you thought things were going well between the two of you but if he feels the need to rip apart what the two you have, to go right ahead. The last thing you want this man to be doing is wondering "what if?"

IMHO, he's not worth your time.