Relationships with Older Men
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Relationships with Older Men
| Wed, 04-21-2004 - 4:56pm |
I need advice!
I am in Grad school and recently a older classmate of mine asked me out. I went out with the guy on a date and had a great time, but felt weird the whole time because he was so much older than I was. He later told me that he hoped I wasn't disappointed in him. No, I wasn't disappointed, just shocked at his age. He has kids my age!
He is such a nice guy and I enjoy talking to him and he keeps talking to me. I am just confused. Should I continue the relationship as a friend or go on with a relationship with the guy?

Hello rogoosegirl, welcome to the board!
You have to decide what feels right for you. There is no set answer here. It depends on your relation with this man, how you feel about it and whether you gain enjoyment from it or not.
This is commonly referred to as a May-December romance... sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't - but, that is not necessarily due to the age but rather to the individuals themselves...
Here is another board that you may want to visit for more insight
I think you both need to clarify what your interaction is supposed to be, aside from being classmates. If he views it as a date and you want to socialize with him with that kind of "understanding," then do so. If not, then make it clear to him that you are only interested in being friends.
Why are you confused? Do you think that you might like him in a romantic sense, inspite of the age difference? Is that an uncomfortable possibility for you?
You can like a man...whatever age...as long as you are aware of your own boundaries (dating? friendship? collegial/professional?). You don't necessarily have to "box" your interaction with him, but I think that you should be honest with yourself with what you want about this interaction.
Something to consider is: Are you trying to talk yourself into liking him when you really don't feel attracted to him? This is really your call: either it bothers you enough that you'd rather be friends...or you're attracted enough that it doesn't. And only you can answer that.
Good luck and take care-
Michelle