resentful for weight gain

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
resentful for weight gain
2
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 10:29pm
Dear Doyenne,

I have always had a hard time keeping those extra 10 pounds off that I gained during college. I just graduated and finally managed to lose those 10 lbs after a lot of hard work. I was feeling more confident than I had in a long time, when I started to date a new guy.

I constantly had fights with him because (1) he wanted me to eat the same thing he was eating for us to share in the experience of eating "together;" and (2) he didn't like that I was so confident in how I looked out of his own insecurities and did not like it if I wore clothes that were too tight or skirts that were too short.

He would say that a salad and soup is not a sufficient meal and would pressure me to eat something similar to what he chose and would pressure me to eat more than I wanted.

As a result of this, three months later, I gained at least the 10 lbs back, feel chubby, and dress in lose/frumpy clothes to hide my belly and thighs.

Now, what makes me really angry is that now, he told me that he still cares about me but is no longer physically attracted to me because I am fat and asked me to lose the weight. The shocked and disgusted looks on his face when he seems me naked are really insulting. When he says he now feels more attractive than me, I feel confused. I feel unattractive and resentful towards him for making me eat so much in the first place. Now, he is mad at me for not making more effort in losing the weight.

I feel as if it is not fair that I was the one who put so much effort in losing the weight in the first place, then he forced me to eat more than I wanted, causing me to gain it back, and now I am the one that has to put in all of the effort to lose it again.

I don't know how to reconcile this within myself to put ALL of the effort in to lose the weight again when I feel like it is his fault as well.

Please help me.

Thank you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 11:24pm
he's a controling jerk...get rid of him and find someone who is supportive.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 11:48pm
this guy was never right for you. Lose him and lose the weight again. Wait for someone who respects your choices.