Roll in the Hay or Another Date

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Roll in the Hay or Another Date
19
Thu, 03-29-2007 - 9:19pm

I went out with this guy on a date. (The same guy I had talked about before) We had an amazing time and then ended up sleeping together. Before I left, I just told him that I was not one of those girls that like got obsessive if the guy did not call after becoming intimate and that if he wasn't interested I understood. He said he appreciated the fact that I made it comfortable for him but that wouldn't be necessary because he was very much interested in really wanted to see me again. That was yesterday. Previous to this last date I had invited him to an event this saturday (casual) and he said he was very much interested and I said I would get back with him on more information. I forgot to ask him about it when we were together, because again yesterday, as my mind was on other things :) About 3-4 hours later I did remember so I called and left a message (unfortunately it was fast because I was getting on the freeway lol so I hope he understood it). I was curious to know if you thought he was still interested, because I feel that since I already called, I shouldn't call again?

QUESTION: Do you think he's still interested or do I just have to chalk it up to a good roll in the hay? :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Sun, 04-01-2007 - 9:59pm

Just checking to see if you had heard from him yet?

YG

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 12:33pm

Right, that is how I felt too, that it would be best to wait to date as things wind down and I don't feel under attack all the time. Let's face it, what would I be able to give emotionally right now, because I am spent.

There are men who would definitely feed off of the drama, and then there are those who truely care. What are the odds that I would attract a man who falls into the "truely cares" category? As a sales trainer once said to us, "Slim to none, and Slim's already left town."

Not beating myself up, mindyou, just looking at the scarce pickings out there these days.

Hugs back,
Linda

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 2:06pm
He said he was interested in this event so i fyou dont hear from him
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sat, 04-07-2007 - 1:12am
I forgot to mention something in my previous post. Some guys stand on ceremony with how soon you sleep with them. I knew one guy that had a 5 date minimum. If you slept with him before date 5 then you would be designated as a casual thing. If you went beyond 5 dates you would be priviledged with "dating" status. I can understand this if you are young but when you are older and have been married or lived with someone it is kind of stupid to play games. I mean, for instance, lets say its two people about 45 years old (like me) and they are having a great time on their date and they know why they are with each other, they want to have sex with each other and if it grows to something more, then great, if not, then hopefully some great sex. I know that sex on the first date is too soon for most men to consider you something beyond a one night stand, but there are guys out there that are mature enough to understand that how soon a woman has sex with him is not an indicator of her worth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 1:14am
You're absolutely correct. I talked to him about my "rules" and he agreed. Thanks for commenting! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 1:21am

Hi!
Sorry I've been having terrible access. First and foremost I want to say THANKS! for everyone that has posted and offered advice. I truly truly appreciate it! I actually talked to him yesterday. I actually spoke to him twice. Once face-to-face, telling him that I'm a blunt person and I apprecaite bluntness etc. So, this what occurred:
#1. I don't do booty calls. We can either date casually (squeezes- where you actually have to like the person and what not) or we can be friends with benefits(just tolerate each other enough for sex). I gave him a choice and he choose squeezes

#2. I need phone calls every 3 days. It can be more, but not less. We both reserve the right to be mad at each other and say something when it's not done

#3. We have to be honest with each other.

He said he felt those were more than easy to accomdate and I agree. He kissed me and walked me to my car. That was yesterday, and he told me he's busy working this week so I'll probably stop by Monday just to show my face.

I also actually wanted to go on a double date with my friend and her bf but I was thinking I should wait and see if we're still dating in a month and then ask his opinion first. I also need to figure out if he and my friend's bf have anything in common. lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 11:35am
So, "squeeze" is the term for casual, but genuinely liking each other. Thanks for the education. That's a tough scenario. It's like it is almost a real relationship, but not. Be careful for your emotions. Good luck and let HIM do the work girlfriend. Take care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 1:23pm
Haha. Yes, it is. Many people don't know if. Basically its a way for him to show how he really feels with no pressure. I've had many squeezes turn out to something. Thanks for being so sweet! I'll keep you posted. Yes, I will be careful and he'll most definetly have to work this time around-starting with trying to fit into my schedule. :) How is your love life treating you? Happy Easter!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 04-08-2007 - 6:43pm
I have had squeezes and I've been squeezed. Eventually we would part ways, so I didn't have your scenario where it actually led to anything that resembled a real relationship. I don't have a love life right now, but thanks for asking. Hope your Easter was happy and you got to eat lots of chocolate bunnies!

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