Is this Rude Behavior???

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Is this Rude Behavior???
7
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 1:51pm
Hello, Ive known my current bf for over a year, we were just friends up until 3mths ago when we started seeing each other exclusively. This past weekend we went to a dinner function and he ran into a male friend of his. They said hello to each other and proceeded to talk for about 10 minutes. I was just standing there, he didnt even bother to introduce me. When he was done talking he says to me are you mad that I didnt introduce you? I say well I was just standing there and it was rude. He says, well he's an a-hole anyway and you wouldnt have wanted to meet him. I said to him that's not the point. Does anyone else find this extremely rude? I might also mention that I only know his 14 yr old son because he lives with him. He has never introduced me to his daughter or anyone else in his family. I also have only met 2 of his personal friends. Weve talked about this and he is insistent that I am not a secret yet Im not introduced to anyone. Im a bit confused by this behavior. Everyone seems to have an opinion about this, some say let it go, im being too sensitive, others say if he really liked me he'd be proud to introduce me. We get along great, have a lot in common and when we are together always enjoy each other's company. He calls me everyday, 2-3 times a day, we see each other couple times a week and have been exclusive for 3mths. Any thoughts on this type behavior? I think its rude myself. Thanks.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:09pm

I do think it's rude not to introduce someone in that situation and don't think much of his explanation--if he's such a jerk, why did he talk to him for 10 minutes with you standing right there?

So, did your BF ultimately agree it was rude, or not?

I think you have 3 separate issues here in any event about this, meeting his son and meeting his friends. I think that it's far too early to introduce you to his son so I don't think that should be an issue yet. As for his friends, 3 months isn't that long--I would think that would just be the time that a couple would be starting to go to things as a couple rather than always going out on dates just the two of you. So I'd see if that changes over the next month or two and whether he includes you in things like BBQs at his friends' house, stuff like that. I'd start to include him in your similar stuff as well.

So have you reached a point of being ok with how often you see each other? I know that was a concern for you previously.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 4:20pm
Yes, he's making more of an effort to see more more than once a week. Things have been going good. I have already met his son, i met him a year ago when I originally met my bf. I havent met his daughter or anyone else in his family. The daughter lives with the mother. Yes I did tell him his behavior was rude and he apologized.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:25pm
I agree,it's rude.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 1:53pm

I don't like the fact that your bf

Jilly

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:47pm

Thanks for your responses. I did ask him if I could see a picture of his daughter, he goes, oh I never showed you, NOOOOO you didnt was my response. I said Ive never met her either, his response, well you know teenagers, they dont want to meet anyone. Thats when I said yeah the only reason I know your son is cause he lives with you.

Last night we were together and his son did a favor for me and i thanked him and told him how polite he was. My bf piped up, yeah he's like his father. I didnt even respond....I acted like I didnt even hear him. He didnt smart answer me back either. He's aware of my feelings to meet his daughter/family. Im not going to needle him but I do agree that if 7-8 mths go by and no meetings then its time to make a decision. Only I know how long I am willing to tolerate/accept things as they are. Time will tell.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 5:24pm

When he was talking to the friend, if it were me, I would've waited for a pause in the conversation, stuck my hand out and said "Hi, I'm so and so's gf, Blondegreen. Nice to meet you!" But that's just me. I'm not easy to ignore - lol!

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I totally agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 08-31-2007 - 12:26pm

He definitely should have introduced you but sometimes guys just aren't the best at etiquette. You've expressed how you felt and hopefully in a similar situation he will act differently now or you can say, Hello, I'm - to make your presence known.


And you do know his son and have met 2 of his friends

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