Running into the ex
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| Mon, 07-09-2007 - 5:57pm |
My ex bf and I have been apart almost 2 years now. He has been my only love and I wanted to marry him. But we were too different. Hes a hippie and Im a conservative. Im religious hes not. I want my own kid(s), he doesnt want anymore (he has 2 from previous marriage).
I just ran into him 2 weeks ago. It was good seeing him and he invited me to dinner a few days later (we ended up having sex - hey it was my 31st b-day). He has been texting me since then and I think he wants to try to be friends.
Ive dated a lot of guys but none have ever made me feel the way he did. And Im scared I wont ever feel that way again. I wont get married until I feel that way again. The problem is I don't want those old feelings with him to come back. Even though I know we arent allowed to be together, I still secretly wish we could be. I guess I just wanted to tell somebody because I cant tell anyone close to me how I feel, they will just tell me Im being stupid.

Why do you think people would think you were stupid for having feelings for your ex? why are you not "allowed" to be together? And if you really want to reconcile, then why dont' you?
I understand what you are trying to say - you just want to know that you will fall in love again. You will. Each love is different because you have grown and changed along the way, thus the relationship is different.
I can certainly understand your feelings.
However, the things that caused you to break up before are still there (right?) Religion and children are a big deal, and disagreement about those two issues is huge, so I just see that dooming your relationship once again. That is, if you're thinking about trying to rekindle anything.
I once got back together with a guy that actually broke up with me. We had been apart for a year when he came back into my life. There was a great deal of attraction between us, and so we got back together. After two weeks I realized it was a mistake, but kept on for another year. In the end, I broke up with him, because of all the same issues. You may experience the same sort of thing if you get back together with this guy.
Sleeping with him is definitely not going to help you get over him. You say you think he might want to be friends...maybe friends with benefits? I know some people are able to be friends with their ex's, but I think it's kind of rare.
Perhaps you need to pursue this right now, to really put it to rest once and for all. It is likely that you have glorified this past relationship, and once you're with him again for a while, you'll see that it is not right for you anymore and that you really have moved on.
All the best. --FG