sad and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
sad and confused
1
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 3:27am
hi. i've been dating my boyfriend for one year this august and i'm deeply in love with him. the biggest fights we've had are the results of him saying hurtful things at the wrong time (but i could get over them easily). but the last fight we had really disturbed me. it seemed as though he really doesn't trust me and made me feel confused, sad and very uncomfortable all at once (this is a guy i've known for years, and i've NEVER felt uncomfortable around him). he accused me of wanting to cheat on him (but not really doing it). to make matters worse, he accused me of wanting to cheat on him with two people, one of whom is my best friend's boyfriend. he also said i wanted to cheat on him with this other guy i work with. these thoughts had never even crossed my mind. i guess i was being too "friendly" and "open" with them. i guess he said this because i was never "that open and happy" around his friends. but i can't help it if i feel more comfortable around these guys, and it was not because i liked/wanted to cheat with them. he also told me that i would want to cheat, but i wouldn't do it because i'm not like that, but that that would be worse than actually doing it. i told my best friend this, but not the whole story cause i felt it would escalate into an even bigger problem. anyway, i really need some advice from other people. thank you for reading this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 11:23am
Get out of this relationship now. This guy is insecure and needs to resolve a lot of issues before he can be in a healthy relationship. My aunt had a very miserable marriage that lasted 37 years with such a guy. My uncle is very nice and fun and everything else, but he drove her crazy with his insecurities and nutty accusations. He even went so far as to tell my cousin that he wasn't his father (even though they are the split image of each other).