saying i love u too soon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
saying i love u too soon?
2
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 4:46pm

I am dating a man that has liked me for 5 years. I was with someone but we split in Sept. In Dec. this other man and I started dating. Within 4 weeks he told me he loves me. I was naturally worried as it seems so soon then I thought, I do not need to worry or control his feelings so let it flow..

He has values, work ethic, he is 36, a responsible person and honest. Most of all we laugh and communicate well.

Is this a red flag??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 5:44pm
I'm a male 49. I've been in the situation he's in before. It takes alot of guts to say it (for me anyway) so soon into the relationship with the fear of having the other person reject it.The reaction I got from my GF at the time was that she had feelings but needed time to actually 'feel' in love. It let me off the hook from saying it again until she said it. But that was after 5-6 weeks together.He has known you for 5 years. It is possible that the next level above friendship is attainable so soon for him. After having just broke up with another man, if might feel strange right now. On the other hand, i'd be a little cautious of this type of guy, as it sounds like he is desperate and figures saying 'i love you' will solidify the relationship further and make him think your not going to dump him. Guys have a tendancy to think that is what women want to hear. Which done to soon can, have you wondering if you should run for the hills or stay and let those feelings evolve. It would probably crush him if you left now. I was in a situation last Oct where my GF said it but I didn't feel the same way. I said to her that you love me as much as you could for the lenght of time you've known me. In this case 5 years is long enough to get to know someone, but there is still alot to learn when your in a relationship compared to a friendship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 12:27pm
He is saying "I love you" after having feelings for you for a number of years. It's not too soon for him. If it's too soon for you, you have to gently let him know.