Scandalous or Not??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2004
Scandalous or Not??
1
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 3:10pm
I was seeing this guy since January....no real determination was made about what is was we were looking for. We would hang out every weekend and he would call twice a week. He would come over on the weekend and after a month we began to fool around not taking it all the way. Well another month of this fooling around contunied and I had tryed to take it farther and he wouldnt...he had said he wasnt the type guy to rush in to things and I had been drinking that night and that would weigh on his concious. I was fine with his decision and two weeks passed with the same whole scene,then after one of our nights out he was drunk, I hadn't drank that night and he tryed taking it farther....at first I tryed to resist due to the fact that he had been drinking, but after a couple hours I gave in...not because I felt I had too, I wanted too and I figured that his persistance showed that even though he had been drinking he was well aware of the situation. He called on schedule that week and said he'd get in touch by Friday...He called Saturday asked if I was going out and he never showed. He didn't call on schedule so I called, and he had said he was on his way out but he'd call back... I never got that call needless to say. Well last night I was out with some friends and we seen him, it was apparent right away that him and his friends were a little uneasy to see me out, so I didn't approch them. After 5 mins. passed, his one friend asked for me to go outside with him to have a cigarette..he asked if I was going to go say hi to Jack before we went out..I looked Jack's direction and I could tell he didn't want me to even be out, much less have me speak to him, so I didn't, besides why hadn't he approched me like any other time? Later that night I ran into Jack's friend again and he asked if I knew where he was and I replyed no....It seemed as if he was avoiding me....and out of all his friends who normally talk to me only the one aknowledged me. I feel like I should let it be as it is, yet I just don't understand why he would stick around 4 months before having sex with me just to avoid me after the fact. Should I let it be....or confront him with the reasoning behind all of this? It's driving me crazy trying to figure this whole thing out.......
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Sat, 04-10-2004 - 4:33pm
Sounds pretty screwy to me. I wonder if he wonders if he had sex with you against your will and doesn't know how to bring it up. Otherwise, to heck with him. It is really weird that his friend came up to talk with you. Maybe that was his way of finding out if you were pissed at him or something. After all, us girls have tested the waters for our friends before. I would start looking around again, but if he calls and wants to hang out-go if you want to. You could ask him face to face then if the whole sex thing bothered him or not. He could feel bad that he said he could wait, and didn't want to sleep with you when you had been drinking, and then he did the same thing himself. Who knows?

Good luck!