scared and confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
scared and confused
2
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 2:16pm
i need some help and advice, last wednsday my boyfriend (of 6 months)called and told me thathat he wants to slow things down and take some space from each other and that if we were meant to be together than we will get back together, our relationship was perfect since day one we were one of those couples who made everybody sick to their stomachs, we were each other best friends he liked hanging out with me more than his friends or his roommate we were so compatibe it was frightning, we were spending so much time together that we didn't do anything without each other and everything was great until all his friends have been giving him crap that they don't like him no more because he never wants to hang out and they were upset cause every friday for the past couple of years were the "guys night out" and he quit doing that so tension started building and then i started getting frustrated and then he was caught in the middle between me and his friends, then he has a very stressful job that he hates and he told me that we need a brake because he was in a really bad relationship for three years with a girl and that he broke up with her and he was only single for 3 months and then he met me and fell head over heels for me and he says he never gotten so close to someone so fast and that he needs to take some time out for his self to see what he wants out of life and that he jumped out of one relationship and back to another one without taking time out for his self and i was very supportive of his decision and told him that i understood and it was a very emotional conversation for the both of us he was hurting but so was i and he was grateful that i understood his needs and he said that if anything me being so understanding could bring him closer to me. so now i am so scared cause i am afraid that we will never get back together so i let my bird free to spread his wings and if it was meant to bne then he will come back, but he hasn't called in 5 days i haven't heard from him even though we are separated right now i just thought that he would of called me because he couldn't stand not going one day without hearing from me. he was anti- marriage before he met me and he told me that he could see him self marring me once his finances improved and i am so lost i don't understand how one day its perfect and the next day he is gone he said that it doesn't have to do with him seeing other woman because it would defet the purpose of him taking space for himself and i am don't know what to do. got any advise? because all i can do is keep my faith and trust in god to bring are love back to each other if we were meant to be . does someone out there have any advise? thankyou.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 3:53pm
To be honest I have never seen a situation where the guy pulls this act where he is just taking space. He probably did find another girl but isn't man enough to be honest with you. He wants to keep you ON HOLD while he explores the other possibility and that way you're not moving on- but he can return to you if things don't work out.

I hope that it's not the case, I really do. It's up to you what you want to do. But if I were you, I would look at it as a total break up and be open to dating other people. He may smarten up if he figures you're NOT going to wait around. If you are meant to be it will happen, but just waiting around for him to make up his mind is not fair. Go out and be available to the possiblities out there.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 5:32pm
My advice: Drop him. It will be hard, believe me, I know, but I see no point in waiting around for him, putting your life on hold.

If he comes back, and you are available, then you can start again if you choose. But until then, let him go on with his bad self. Live your life.

A~