Scared to Commit?
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Scared to Commit?
| Mon, 10-24-2005 - 5:19pm |
Hi Everyone,
I'm new to the message board. My name is Katie, I'm 20 years old and I was hoping for some advice. I have a good "guy friend" named Alan. I met him a couple months ago at work. We discovered we both liked bike riding so we decided to go biking together. We went biking and had a pretty good time than we started doing more things together. I went with him and his friends to the beach for a couple days and had a good time. That's where things started getting a little blurry. We started having these little tickling matches, and would wrestle and play around. I would wrap my legs around him when we were in the water at the beach. In other words, we were acting like a couple. So since then we've spent almost every day together, he has met my family, I've met his. We've gone hiking together, camping, rock hunting (he loves searching for cool rocks), biking... When we watch tv we are all curled up together, he strokes my hair and kisses me, well anyway, you get the idea. Well, this is all great stuff and I'm having a wonderful time, but whenever he introduces me to his friends or family, he introduces me as a friend. Now, this sometimes bothers me and other times doesn't. It bothers me after he acts like my "boyfriend", then introduces me as a "friend." He calls me all most everyday. I've been out with a couple guys since we've become "friends," but I feel kind of wierded out by the whole situation. Sometimes it seems like he emphasizes the whole friend thing by saying things like "have a goodnight, friend" "Would you like another drink, my friend" But then he'll turn around and kiss me or wrap his arm around me. Ok, maybe this is the classic case of a guy who doesn't want to commit? I also feel kind of awkward telling him I went to the movies or hiking with another person. I don't know if I'm over thinking this or blowing this out of proportion. I know I should be open with him about this, but I have a fear of making things awkward between us. I love how things are now in some ways. In some ways I like the idea of being friends because I feel like things have a better chance of lasting, but I don't like the feeling of being a "Friend with benefits"! Sorry about rambling on, I'd appreciate any feedback you have.
~Sincerely Confused Girl
I'm new to the message board. My name is Katie, I'm 20 years old and I was hoping for some advice. I have a good "guy friend" named Alan. I met him a couple months ago at work. We discovered we both liked bike riding so we decided to go biking together. We went biking and had a pretty good time than we started doing more things together. I went with him and his friends to the beach for a couple days and had a good time. That's where things started getting a little blurry. We started having these little tickling matches, and would wrestle and play around. I would wrap my legs around him when we were in the water at the beach. In other words, we were acting like a couple. So since then we've spent almost every day together, he has met my family, I've met his. We've gone hiking together, camping, rock hunting (he loves searching for cool rocks), biking... When we watch tv we are all curled up together, he strokes my hair and kisses me, well anyway, you get the idea. Well, this is all great stuff and I'm having a wonderful time, but whenever he introduces me to his friends or family, he introduces me as a friend. Now, this sometimes bothers me and other times doesn't. It bothers me after he acts like my "boyfriend", then introduces me as a "friend." He calls me all most everyday. I've been out with a couple guys since we've become "friends," but I feel kind of wierded out by the whole situation. Sometimes it seems like he emphasizes the whole friend thing by saying things like "have a goodnight, friend" "Would you like another drink, my friend" But then he'll turn around and kiss me or wrap his arm around me. Ok, maybe this is the classic case of a guy who doesn't want to commit? I also feel kind of awkward telling him I went to the movies or hiking with another person. I don't know if I'm over thinking this or blowing this out of proportion. I know I should be open with him about this, but I have a fear of making things awkward between us. I love how things are now in some ways. In some ways I like the idea of being friends because I feel like things have a better chance of lasting, but I don't like the feeling of being a "Friend with benefits"! Sorry about rambling on, I'd appreciate any feedback you have.
~Sincerely Confused Girl

outdoorsykatielady...
Pianoguy thinks you summed up your feelings in one sentence: "I don't like the feeling of being a Friend with benefits!"
SO...if this is all the relationship is between the two of you...ease out of it!
Actually, if you keep your distance for a couple of weeks, the man who considers you "just a friend" will more than likely wonder WHAT'S WRONG? Then you can express your thoughts to him just as easily as you have to the ivillagers here.
After you lay your cards on the table, you'll learn how he REALLY feels about you!
Good Luck!
Pianoguy