Scary, Freaky Date

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2002
Scary, Freaky Date
3
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 10:46am


I would like some of your thoughts on this scary date that I had last night.

First of all, I met this guy off of an internet website, and we had only exchanged one e-mail prior to meeting. He seemed like a really nice guy, and we were hitting it off. Then before ordering dinner, he just became a freak. He started saying things like how I was his soulmate, and he loved me, and could we go back to my place so he could just hold me? I said, this is our first date and I would like to get to know you as a person before we make any decisions about whether we are going to be a in a relationship or not. Well, he just got all upset and starting saying stuff like how I was afraid to be in relationship, and if we went back to my place he would let me drive his Jaguar, and how he's never felt this way before. I mean, this guy has a ten year old daughter! Then he told me he was married before and he didn't love his wife when they got married and on and on. I finally ended the dinner, but when I went out to the parking lot and he realized I wasn't going to take him home, he started yelling my name and honking his car horn. I drove as fast as I could out of that parking lot and I was literally looking over my shoulder the whole time I drove home because I was scared that he was going to follow me!!! I was crying all the way home, because I was so freaked out.

I just feel so used and manipulated, even though I ended the date and I have no intentions of seeing this guy again. I'm a 35 year old professional single woman, and I have never had such a creepy experience like this one before in my life!!!

Has anyone else had a similiar experience?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:02am
Oh my gosh, that sounds awful!!! No, I've never had a bad date of that caliber...I've met dozens of guys from online and most of the "bad" dates are just ones where we don't hit it off.

Block him from emailing you, and I hope you only gave him your cell phone number so he can't do reverse lookup and figure out where you live.

Chalk it up to bad experience and move on. I'm sorry you had to go through that though!

Sheri

P.S. I and most experienced online daters I know have found that it works best to meet someone new for coffee rather than for dinner. You could have gotten away quicker if you'd done so...but on the other hand his weirdness may not have come out in a short coffee date.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2002
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 11:16am
Sheri-

Thank you. I really appreciate your advice. I've dated a lot of guys from online dating, but I've never had an experience quite like this one. I am still freaked out from this date. I usually go on coffee dates, but I'm glad that I found out how weird he was now rather than later.

Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 5:02pm
Wow Deb, glad you escaped okay! I never met anyone online, but I did go on a really freaky and creepy blind date. A friend hooked us up, I spoke with him on the phone and emailed him- he seemed nice enough. Similar deal; first dinner date he wanted to know "where he stood", he trashed his first wife awfully, told me how special I was to him.....blah blah blah. I was CREEPED out. Get this, that same night he wrote me a HUGE email how I was "the one" for him!!! EEwwwww!

He didn't know where I lived, but he did come to my weekend p/t job once, and gave me dirty looks right after I emailed him back and said NO THANKS!!!

I think the lesson I learned is: 1) make your first date a quickie 2)never give 'em your home number, even if they are a referral 3)make sure you know a good amount about a person before you agree to meet them. I don't mean talk on the phone / email for months; but get a good feel for that person and make sure they are worth meeting.

I know I learned a lesson, you should take it as one also. Glad you are safe!