screwed up and in love

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
screwed up and in love
2
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:03pm
Right now, I feel so stupid! I've allowed myself to be the typical doormat once again! It sounds so bad, but I've been involved with a guy (who lives with his girlfriend)for the past 3 1/2 years. It started out as this exotic fling but it just kept growing stronger. I'm not a home wrecker--this is only the second time I've been involved with a guy for longer than 6 months. But as the time went on, I grew more attached and he just kept making promises. This is the last straw, though. He's been lying to me, telling me how badly he wants to break up with her (he's said this for the past year) and he had an opportunity to do it this past weekend. Instead, he bought her a puppy and they're trying to work things out. I know what you're going to say...he's a jerk. I can do better. He's not worth my time. These things I know, but what I can't understand is why I can't get over him? I stopped speaking to him for 7 months, but one day, I ran into him, and it all came flooding back. I've tried to go out with other guys, but nothing compares to him. Right now, I feel so worthless and stupid. Like all this time, I thought it was going somewhere and really, he was just using me. I know I need to move on, but how do I go about doing that? Whenever he's near me, my heart just melts and nothing else seems to matter. I need some advice, please!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 9:27pm
I think you've been feeling worthless and stupid for a long time before this guy came into the picture...a woman who is confident and knows her worth does NOT do what you have done, let herself be treated always like a piece on the side, never the main event.

Girl, love yourself and walk away from this guy. SEt your BS gauge to zero. He's holding you up from ever creating a real relationship...after three years of this, it's not going to take a week to get over him...give yourself time to mourn and get to know yourself before you get out there...of course no other guy has a chance. Especially if he might be a nice guy who is going to treat you right. You sound like someone like that would bore you to tears.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 8:22am
Hi I know what your going through I have been with a man for 6 years and shouldnot still be there. I do love him, but when you lose the trust theres not much left. How do we get ourselves in these situations. Do we not feel good about ourselves. Are we easily led, when someone claims they love us. Hang in there and go by your gut feelings, they usually will send you in the right direction.