Second date with no kiss

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Second date with no kiss
7
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 8:01pm

I met this cool girl in a nightclub one night and got her phone number. I scheduled to meet up with her for a few drinks like the week after. Although it sorta turned into a double date sorta thing, where she invited her friend and mine came along, which was ok as they knew one another from that night we were all out. A kiss did not happen this time and as we were going out the door i asked if i was gonna get one or what and she said the next night. Anyway arranged through txts to meet up with her again, this time just me and her for a meal.

We met up for a meal, had a bottle of wine. Had goood conversation and a good amount of eye contact. I was sure she was interested in me. Though at the end she started talking about her ex how she had on/offs with him in the past and how she bumped into him the last date and how she felt like why are u here gone go away. I know this is a recipe for disaster and ppl sudnt discuss issues like this in a date ? Anyway for the first time i felt like i didnt know how to respond to this. Anyway she offered to pay half of the meal but i wouldnt let her and tried to pay for it all meself, but she insisted so i let her pay 8.50, it came to 58.50 and i paid the 50. Anyway we went on to a bar and the bar ended up being crowded.i had a drink and she had too. We headed on after g 20 mins cos she had to meet up with a friend who had just broke up with a bf of 2 years. We didnt even get as far as a kiss or a hug and just said bye. Now i got a bit depressed cos i didnt even get a hug or kiss. So i just headed into a bar and drank me sorrows away and sent a stupid txt to her when i was drunk saying sorry it didnt lead to a kiss blah blah. The rest wasnt bad, just said things like hope you enjoyed the meal and how i did enjoy it. Now i really regret it. Apologised for sending the 2 drunk txts to her via another txt the next day.

Anyway i havent heard her since that night, it was sunday, now its wednesday morning. I thought the date went really well, there was lots of conversation, good eye contact. but why havent i heard frm her ? Is there anything i should do or am i wasting my time. She did tell me during the meal that she was behind in deadlines for assignment at her college and had a book to read and a presentation for tuesday. But surelly that wouldnt hold her back from one text. Also i noticed that it takes her hours to reply to any txts she did reply to in the past. I really dunno where i stand and i cant act like i stand anywhere cos i havent even got as far as kissing her. Any advice on this issue would be greatly appreciated because i am so confused and dunno what to do and i keep wondering what i did wrong. I dunno if i should phone her as it might seem pushy ?

Edited 11/14/2006 8:06 pm ET by celticwarrior2006




Edited 11/14/2006 8:08 pm ET by celticwarrior2006
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 8:59pm

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like she's just not that into you and that she's still caught up in her ex-boyfriend. I would let it go to be honest, otherwise I think you'll be chasing her for no good reason.


Also, what's to do with the focus on the kiss? Personally if a guy asked me for a kiss after meeting me one night, it would be a bit off putting. Call me old-fashioned but I think those things need to happen naturally, not forced.

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 9:58am

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to that I can also say, if you actually *said* "am I gonna get a kiss or what?" my answer would be "OR WHAT!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 3:39pm

I'm sorry you're going through this, sometimes dating can be really difficult, to say the least.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 6:02pm
Hi sandra, thanks for all that response it sounds very usefull and i dont think i would have figured out all that stuff on my own or maybe it woulda took me a long time. Anyway i just realised another point i forgot to mention and that is that my mam phoned halfway through the date and i left to answer the phone. Came back and she asked who was that and i said it was me mam. She didnt look pleased and said what was she doing ringing, and i just made up some crap that i told her i told me mam i was standing outside da house or soemthing. Anyway the strange thing is, none of these girl code things u have explained started to come up until after that phone call. I have been told that girls dont like this or something ? Please give me your oppinion as i am beginning to think my mam phoning may be the reason for the date messing up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 1:21pm

I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 3:36pm

Well thats true. I still think that if thats what was going through her mind she should have brought it up instead of no contact at all and leave me wondering for days what went wrong when i thought we got along great. I actually even txted apologising about the phone call and asking did i do or say anything that offended her to make it go wrong but still no reply. I even explained this was the first meal i took anyone on since i moved here and that i really wud appreciate it if she cud tell me how i offended her or why she hasnt txted. I did this 8 hours ago. If it was u, would u have at least give the guy an explanation ? or would u have left him wondering for days and days and possibly never know what he did wrong, only guess.

She didnt even exchange a hug, i have hugged strangers b 4 ! Cudda got a peck on the cheek at least if she just wanted to be friends. We had even had conversations on the way back and i made her laugh.

Also, u know i mentioned about her saying she had to see a friend who had split up with a bf of 2 years, well this didnt happen 20 mins before she left, it happened like an hour and half before it and told me the time she had to meet her at. I have deleted the number now anyway! I hate her for leaving me wondering and not knowing for sure what i done wrong. I feel like i have endured a big loss lol n regret it unbelievably. But to be honest her txt replies were always like 6 hours later or a day later mostly, maybe she just wasnt interested to begin with and just wanted a meal or a lad to lead on and play.

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Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 5:07pm

Goodness darlin'!

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