Seduce a guy away from his girlfriend??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Seduce a guy away from his girlfriend??
10
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 5:01am

Is it possible to actually seduce a guy away from his gf??

I know.. i know... im a real bad person to even think of this... but I really like this guy. We have a lot of fun together... and had this real romantic weekend away at a resort which was when things turned bad... when I asked him the BIG question. He already has a girlfriend (but she is living in another town) and I asked him WHEN he was going to break up with her. (I naturally assumed he would after everything that happened between us). His answer was rather shocking... he said that he can't hurt her because she's such a nice girl (go figure that out??!!)

Naturally, things became rather bad after that... but for the last few days I've started talking to him again... and hanging out sometimes. I really want him... and I know that he is attracted to me too. But the problem is this... he keeps on saying that without any fault of his girlfriend he cant just break up with her and hurt her.

He has been very hurt by his last relationship and I think he just wants to hang on to his current gf because I resemble his ex-girlfriend a lot in personality and his current girl is the exact opposite. So it seems that she is a very "safe" person in that sense.

But I really want him. Is there anyway to get him back... please help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 5:23am

xeishai...

Pianoguy feels a little sad for you today.

You have a fixation for one man...who appears to be perfectly content to continue his relationship with somebody else. Whether he HONESTLY loves you (or even LIKES you) is subject to interpretation....yours and his?

From the sound of your post....there's more LOVE for this guy on your side?

Ask yourself----if you were his current g/f, how would you feel about another woman attempting to take your place? Would you be happy about it?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:14am

You can't get him back -- you never had him. Relationships involve trust, and you have shown yourself to him to be untrustworthy.

If you want a relationship, don't accept less and move on from people (like him) who are incapable of offering what you want. Respect yourself (and others) enough to not be the other woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 9:57am

Karma has a tendency of turning around and biting us when we least expect it. Put yourself in this girl's shoes. Imagine how devastated she would feel if she found out about you and her boyfriend. Do the right thing and get out of this situation now. Why would you even want to be with a guy who would cheat on his girlfriend? He'd do the same to you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 12:30pm

You question really worries me. Instead of asking how you can get out of this situation, you are basically asking us for advice on how you can hurt an innocent person. And for some reason, you believe you deserve this man. You are in a very bad place right now. Regardless of how you got there, you are continuing to make a horrible choice by staying in this situation. This guy is obvioulsy content to cheat on his girlfriend and then lie to her about it, and you really want to be with him? He has no respect for others, including you. But with all due respect, it doesn't seem that you do either. You are willing to destroy this woman for your own pleasure. You might need to examine yourself and figure out what has caused you to do this.

Why do you believe this guy is good for you? Do you think he's the best you can get, are you fearful of being alone? What makes you think this is the basis for a good relationship? Do you honestly believe you can trust him after what's he done to his current girlfriend, and why do you think he'll treat you any differently? You need to think about how you want to treated in life, and then behave according to those guidelines. If you wouldn't want someone doing this to you, why is it OK for you to do it to them? This guy isn't what you think he is. You need to stop justifying his behavior by saying that he loves you and is just trapped in a bad relationship with someone else and doesn't know what to do. He's cheating on his girlfriend, stringing you along, and convincing you that his behavior is acceptable. And you are foolishly believing it.

Get out of this place now and don't look back. Have some respect for the innocent here, and have some respect for yourself. You aren't in so deep that you can't get out safely, but you have to make the choice to do it. And you also need to try to look at this situation realistically. This guy can never give you what you want, what you need, what you deserve. Even if you get what you "want," all of these lies and secrets won't stop when the relationship begins. They will follow you throughout the entire duration of the relationship, killing the ability to trust, and destroying your confidence and strength. Do this for your own good, because you deserve respect, and you have to start by respecting yourself, or no one else will. Good luck, and I hope for the best for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2006
Tue, 03-14-2006 - 8:31pm

First of all you are not a bad person, if anything, you are confused and probably in love.

I asked a similar question on another board here and was left not feeling very good about myself. I didn't have sex with my friend, but I've fooled around him. I decided to back off and be just friends with him. If he does become available someday I'm going for it. In the meantime, I'm doing my own thing and open to dating others. Maybe you should do the same. Don't wait for someone that may never be available.

Take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2006
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 2:07am

Thnx free2bme421.. n everyone else too

I needed a good dose of that.. to actually see what I was doing. Yea... if anyone else was doing the same thing to me... I would feel terrible

Sure... I might love him... but as u guys said I should respect the other woman n myself to get out of this. Thnx everyone

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 4:08pm
Yeah he sounds charming...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 10:16pm
If he can actually be lured away then you dont want him. If you try methods to get him and it works, who's to say someone wont try it when you're together? I know how you're feeling right now 'cause I've been there SOOOOO many times, but after its over you'll realize it for yourself. But if he truly has feelings for you then if you're just yourself he will find a way to leave her and go to you. Just be patient and be yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 9:36am

I can't tell you how glad I am to see your message. Why? Because I posed almost the same question back in the summer of last year, but from a male perspective, and got royally crucified for it. I asked how to try to separate a girl I liked from her boyfriend. Shortly thereafter they broke up - and she was going to move down to Florida. They quickly got back together, but this last December they broke up and she immediately moved to Florida. We're going out this coming weekend. Anyway, it CAN happen. Most relationships break up. All you can really do is keep in contact and wait for the end to come.

BTW, the most furious comments I got were because the girl was in a "committed" relationship. My belief at the time was that if there's no ring, there's no committment, certainly no sacred one. I thought then, and think moreso now, that if a couple wants to commit themselves totally, to cut themselves off from other potential romantic involvements, then they should take themselves out of the market by putting on a ring.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 12:15pm

So you had a romantic weekend away with him and he never mentioned that he had a girlfriend? How did you meet - at a single's bar?


Do you seriously think that if he's so willing to cheat on his gf he wouldn't do the same thing to you?

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