seeing new guy, confused by the game
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seeing new guy, confused by the game
| Sun, 10-31-2004 - 10:28pm |
i've gone out w/ this guy a few times. we've had a really great time but he doesn't call. i posted a few weeks ago wondering if i should call him. he came online more frequently after our 1st date, called once after our date but didnt call frequently. now, normally i wouldn't have minded to call him and see what's up but i'm confused after reading 'he's just not that into you'. i get the feeling that this guy is, really and truly. i'm not just being some dumb girl wanting a man right now.
i'm trying not to make excuses but i'm wondering if maybe he's shy and doesn't want to call? of if he's wondering if i feel the same way and wondering why i'm not calling him to show my interest back?
any suggestions would be helpful. i would love to talk to him tonight but i'm afriad of calling b/c i dont wanna seem 'desperate' or whatever

Many guys, especially this early in dating will only call when there is a specific purpose - such as to ask you out on a date. We typically won't call you every day or so, just to chat.
I think using the book "He's Just Not That Into You" as a reference for right now is good, but don't be too strict in its application. It's not a black & white world out there.
If you would like more communication from him, then let him know it is ok for him to call just to chat - if that's what you want. Some people just aren't phone people (men and woman) that want to spends hours talking on the phone. Some prefer that type of interaction when it is face-to-face.
Have you done anything yet to proactively show your interest? If not, maybe its time you do.
i am not expecting him to call me everyday. that's just bizarre. but i mean calling once a week in the beginning is that 'sufficient'? he understands what i'm going through right now and has always offered me his ear and shoulder most times. basically i'm wondering if what i'm hoping the outcome would be is pushing it a little to quickly.
we went out on tues and he hasn't called, i spoke to him online thurs but that's it. now i'm beginning to get into the 'he's just not that into you' mindset. and i believe i will be until he proves himself otherwise...its awful for me to say, but i have to look out for myself, right?
i hear what your saying, and i understand what everyone else is saying but i also like what spice.man said, that he'll call if there's a reason to. and i believe that. but also i'm curious as to why he isnt calling to 'check up' on me
I realize some people do not like talking on the phone. But I don't know of anyone who will avoid contact with someone they like and are interested in. I had a boyfriend who really disliked the phone--our longest conversation via phone was maybe 10 minutes. But he emailed me, IM'd me, arranged to see me often. He was fine in person, just didn't like the phone. The point is, he made a concentrated effort to contact me, even to just say hello. If this man is not even attempting to contact you, I would have to say he's just not as interested in you as you are in him.
no we're not having sex. we spoke about that already. i'm not 'actively persuing him' hes been persuing me since may. and i finally gave in and went on a date w/ him that was about a month ago. that was 5 months of asking me out, constantly. and he always said, give me a call this weekend, give me a call this time that time blah blah blah, (but i never did) and would always say 'so when are you going to let me take you out' and finally i did.
he said before he thinks about me all the time, daydreams about me blah blah blah but he doesnt call..i'm much too confused
this is true, and i told him that i'm not about sexing up just 'anybodys'