Seeking 2nd date advice from the ladies

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Seeking 2nd date advice from the ladies
8
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 1:48pm
The first date went great, we've alot in common and we laughed for almost 2.5 hrs over dinner. I got a hug and a second date tonight! I even read my first Cosmo for her trying every resource I can not to blow things with this beautiful girl I cannot stop thinking about. And now the hard part .... the brakes... I haven't done a lick of work today because I am so anxious to see her again! How can I let her know how I feel without scaring her off ? Cosmo claims that men only have 2 speeds (slow and slower) but I feel like I am in a high speed skid !! She suggested a movie after dinner tonight (progressing from just a late dinner on the first date)... does this MEAN anything significant (not afraid to sit next to me in the dark anyways)... wants to hold my hand ??? I am terrible at reading hints, please offer helpful suggestions or at least reassurance. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 1:56pm
I've been seeing a guy for about a month who was nervous about our second date as well, but he did tell me this, and I think it makes sense. If she said yes to having a second date with you, chances are she had as good of a time as you did on your first date. Otherwise she wouldn't be going out with you. I do want to tell you to just calm down and enjoy the evening. But don't be afraid to reach over to hold her hand/put your arm around her. She will not make this first move for you. If she is receptive to that, then chances are she wants to kiss you, and if you're ready for that, I say go for it. It's normal to be anxious when you meet someone new and want things to go well because you feel a spark/connection to her. Good luck and have fun!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2004
Thu, 04-29-2004 - 3:24pm
If she said yes to a second date, then she is interested. I understand that you don't want to move too fast, but not too slow, either. While you're on your dinner/movie date, hold her hand, put your arm around her, etc. That lets her know that you like her. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 10:02am
Just slow down there man. A movie and dinner is still just that. Yes, it does mean that she is willing to sit in the dark theater with you....just don't turn it into something that might not be there yet. I say try the hand-holding at dinner...if that doesn't work, you might want to keep your hands to yourself during the movie. Besides that, you can always go the ultra-gentleman route and ask her if she would mind if you held her hand. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 11:40am

I'm glad you had such a great first date.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2004
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 12:35pm
I am the happiest guy in the whole world today, thanks to all for the advice. I tried to play it as cool as possible, but I'm sure my overwhelming glee shined thru. We laughed for 1.5 hrs before we had to head to the movie. I know its bad taste to kiss and tell, but I did get a quick kiss from the softest lips in the world at the end of the date after I gave her a small gift and a single orange rose (=fascination, not red to scare her). I called myself hopelessLeo because Leo's supposedly lead with their hearts... I don't believe in love at first sight, but (not to throw around the "L" word lightly) I may believe in love after 2nd date. I got promised a 3rd date next week, she said maybe we could do something a little different (from dinner and movies?). Any perfect 3rd date suggestions from my cyber-advisors ??? I can't believe I'm 30 and I feel like a stupid teenager again talking to his sisters about his very first date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 1:02pm
I'm impressed! Most men would never find their way onto a predominately female site seeking advice. A movie is good- it's safe. You don't have to worry about conversation and afterwards, you have something to talk about. If you go to a movie, make sure you get coffee afterwards! We love to know how you feel- you don't need to say anything because actions speak louder than words. Be interested in her so ask questions, try to be forthcoming when she asks you questions, call when you say you are going to- and ALWAYS call the next day. ALWAYS! Just be honest, reliable, and respectful. You'll get all the dates in the world! And just in case it doesn't work out, how old are you and where do you live? J/K. Good luck!

PS- flowers are a tradition for a reason and most men forget it's such an inexpensive way to show her you're interested, and it's not too involved because you don't have to say anything- just hand them to her. Traditionally, each flower actually meant something so the women would know exactly how her guy felt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2003
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 1:07pm
Finally got to this message and I see that you already went out! Great choice on the flower. I should have known you would put thought into considering you are a leo. I am as well!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 1:23pm
Cosmo says that men have two speeds? Slow and slower?? hmmmmm, they obviously haven't seen any racing (auto, boat or horse... mostly male dominated sports... men like speed) There are men who can go from 0 to 300 in the blink of an eye!!