Settling for Mr. Good-Enough

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
Settling for Mr. Good-Enough
18
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 9:10pm

Essay in The Atlantic Monthly magazine

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803/single-marry

Rather overlong and self-indulgent, but I think the author has a point. People have standards that are too high, no?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 9:07am

Entitlement and expectations go a long way into feeding the hysteria of settling. Settling comes from a core belief of 'not deserving' and ' not existing' - good men exist in all walks of life - and there are many good men available for any woman - but if she has some fanatsy image of what he should be like, then she won't and can't 'see' what is right there before her.


As the saying goes - look for beauty, you won't find love. Look for love and you always find beauty.

Toni

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:19am

No woman should use a man to validate herself as a human being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 6:16pm

"there are many good men available for any woman" ----> I hope you are right because I hope to reenter the dating world eventually.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Wed, 02-13-2008 - 10:19pm

Interesting, to say the least.

Fully less than half of all marriages in this country fail for one reason or another.
This will continue to be the case so long as the majority sex feels it their right
to have the minority change their lifestyle, solely to suit their wishes.
MOO

once.
once.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Thu, 02-14-2008 - 7:02pm
Well, if the majority sex (I assume you mean men) has been able to get the minority sex (I assume you mean women) to jump when they say jump I would say that the fault lies 50/50. - Marriages fail because people get into them too quickly and expectations are not realistic - that will never go away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 4:39pm

Majority = women
Minority = men

At least according to the latest census figures.

once.
once.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 9:17pm

Depends on which age group you are looking at.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 5:17pm
Great piece. Thaks for sharing
,
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