Seven Days - 7 Red Flags - Can Anyone Top This?
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|Fri, 04-19-2013 - 3:36am|
I met a guy at a nightclub on Saturday, seemed to hit it off, stayed up that night talking until 6:30 a.m. He's a career Marine, divorced after 11 years of marriage, planning on going into counseling after retirement, and generally seems like a very accomplished, intelligent, and interesting man. During the conversation, he mentions several different activities that would be nice to do together. We briefly touch upon our ideas on relationships, and I do mention that I am just fine with casual dating and actually think it is a good way to get to know someone, but I am not into casual sex and am only intimate in a committed, exclusive, and monogamous relationship. He asks if I would be interested in having coffee with him the next afternoon, Sunday, before he leaves for his town, which is 2 to 3 hours away from mine. Well, coffee turns into lunch and a movie, and a very nice afternoon together. Now, the red flags: (1) The next day, Monday, he sends me a somewhat crude and sexually suggestive text about taking him to the dark side, showing him what he's made for and making it nasty; (2) Thursday, he says he's coming to town, will be there about 7:30 p.m. and would like to see me. I ask where he would like to meet, he asks "your place?" and against my better judgment, I agree. He then says he will be later - after 10:00 p.m., and I suggest we meet the next day instead as it is getting very late, and I will make him dinner in the late afternoon; (3) Friday, I make dinner, we have a nice evening, and then go out to a club to listen to music and dance. At the club, he mentions how good looking and unique the bartender is and how he can't even get her attention, she wouldn't give him the time of day; (4) He stays the night Friday (no sex, just cuddling and kissing, still my mistake) and Saturday morning has to go downtown to help his friend get into his hotel room as the friend's key doesn't work and he has an extra. Four hours later, he returns, after hanging out with the guys and having lunch; he then leaves to attend an MMI fight with his buddies; (5) He mentions he really likes porn (a personal preference, but a red flag for me as I'm not into it and already told him I'm not into casual sex) (6) Later that night, I attend a birthday party with him at another nightclub. While there, he dirty dances with / grinds on other women, telling me not to change him and this has been a problem in past relationships; (7) After asking me to arrange my busy Sunday so I could spend the afternoon with him, and twice confirming the time of 2:00 p.m., he texts me at 2:02 p.m. and tells me he's not going to be making it up that afternoon, with no excuse. When I ask why, he says he's driving home.